Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Sell the Dodgers to Charlie Sheen

Frank and Jamie McCourt came the Dodgers the old fashioned way — on borrowed money.
Frank and Jamie McCourt came the Dodgers the old fashioned way — on borrowed money.

It’s always little people who get screwed. Look at the Dodgers. A mighty franchise brought down to the point where a soulless drone like Bud Selig is moved to seize control.

This is what happens when a marital spat gets out of hand. Used to be that Frank and Jamie McCourt were known as community-minded owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers. The pair came by the team the old-fashioned way, on borrowed money. Back in ’04, Fox Entertainment Group, a bastard child of Rupert Murdoch, offloaded what they considered to be an annoyance to McCourt for $430 million, mostly borrowed dollars.

So, there’s Frank McCourt, 58, Georgetown graduate, and his wife, Jamie, 58, Georgetown grad with a diploma from Université de Paris, law degree from the University of Maryland, and MBA from MIT Sloan School of Management (this is not someone to have a court fight with). The couple bought the Dodgers and moved to L.A. He, leaving behind his old life as a Boston real estate hustler and parking-lot proprietor; she, leaving behind her old life as wife of a Boston real estate hustler and parking-lot proprietor, to enter glamorous Los Angeles at the head of the parade, to wit: owners, and therefore custodians, of Dodgers baseball.

As citizens of the United States, we know you can live well on borrowed money, and the McCourt love bugs did just that. Hey, you have to live somewhere. Frank bought a 2.6-acre, 20,000-square-foot, $25 million Palladian villa and a 1.7-acre, 8400-square-foot, $6.5 million French country–style home in Holmby Hills. But, a man needs room to grow, so he bought two more homes in Malibu, one from Courteney Cox and friend for a lousy $27 million and change.

Sponsored
Sponsored

In March 2009, Frank promoted Jamie to the top, dubbed her Los Angeles Dodgers CEO. A Dodgers PR release said, “As CEO, Jamie will oversee the strategic direction and decisions of the organization, focusing on the development of relationships throughout the Dodgers community and Major League Baseball, and with corporate partners and public officials. Jamie will also lead business development initiatives in order to grow the global Dodgers brand across all platforms. She will remain responsible for driving the organizational culture within the Dodgers family.”

The infallible rule of thumb states that if you can’t describe your job in three words or less — dockworker, lawyer, teacher, stockbroker, computer programmer — then you have a fake job. Jamie’s new job requires 61 words, which makes it a world-class fake job.

But, fake or no, there she was, CEO. Seven months later, Frank fires her. Jamie files for divorce. Frank says she was having an affair with the chauffeur. Things went downhill from there.

Of course, money rolls downhill; in this instance, in the direction of Jamie God-bless-the-divorce-laws-of-California McCourt, who is asserting her right to 50 percent of the Dodgers.

Messy divorce cases bring out messy secrets. Court documents say the pair took $105 million from Dodgers World and yet, magically, paid no taxes. Their spawn had paid positions with the team but didn’t appear to be doing anything. The L.A. Times investigated and found that McCourt’s holding company, which owns the Dodgers, Dodger Stadium, and the land around the ballpark, has $620 million of debt. And so on.

But, no matter what happens, Frank and Jamie will be fine. All the lawyers will be fine and then some. The Dodgers will be fine. Major League Baseball will be fine. But, you know who isn’t going to be fine? Vladimir Shpunt. The little guy.

Val, 72, worked for the Dodgers. He was employed there for five years. This is not an insignificant period of time. Val, a late-life Russian immigrant with three degrees in physics, settled in the Boston area. He was introduced to Jamie when she was suffering from a severe eye infection. He put his psychic powers to use and Jamie healed. Next thing you know, Val is employed by the Dodgers, tasked to send positive energy to the boys while they were on the field. Val figured his intercession was worth a bump of 10 to 15 percent in wins. In his five years, Val attended one game. He watched the other games at home on his TV, sending positive Val vibes coast to coast. His salary is said to have been in the six figures.

Let’s talk numbers. Val left the Dodgers in 2008, the year the lads won the National League West. Nowadays, the owners are in court, bankers at the door, and lawyers have infested the Los Angeles basin. Who will rehire Vladimir Shpunt and get the Dodgers back in the game?

I give you five words. Charlie Sheen and borrowed money.

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Escondido planners nix office building switch to apartments

Not enough open space, not enough closets for Hickory Street plans
Frank and Jamie McCourt came the Dodgers the old fashioned way — on borrowed money.
Frank and Jamie McCourt came the Dodgers the old fashioned way — on borrowed money.

It’s always little people who get screwed. Look at the Dodgers. A mighty franchise brought down to the point where a soulless drone like Bud Selig is moved to seize control.

This is what happens when a marital spat gets out of hand. Used to be that Frank and Jamie McCourt were known as community-minded owners of the Los Angeles Dodgers. The pair came by the team the old-fashioned way, on borrowed money. Back in ’04, Fox Entertainment Group, a bastard child of Rupert Murdoch, offloaded what they considered to be an annoyance to McCourt for $430 million, mostly borrowed dollars.

So, there’s Frank McCourt, 58, Georgetown graduate, and his wife, Jamie, 58, Georgetown grad with a diploma from Université de Paris, law degree from the University of Maryland, and MBA from MIT Sloan School of Management (this is not someone to have a court fight with). The couple bought the Dodgers and moved to L.A. He, leaving behind his old life as a Boston real estate hustler and parking-lot proprietor; she, leaving behind her old life as wife of a Boston real estate hustler and parking-lot proprietor, to enter glamorous Los Angeles at the head of the parade, to wit: owners, and therefore custodians, of Dodgers baseball.

As citizens of the United States, we know you can live well on borrowed money, and the McCourt love bugs did just that. Hey, you have to live somewhere. Frank bought a 2.6-acre, 20,000-square-foot, $25 million Palladian villa and a 1.7-acre, 8400-square-foot, $6.5 million French country–style home in Holmby Hills. But, a man needs room to grow, so he bought two more homes in Malibu, one from Courteney Cox and friend for a lousy $27 million and change.

Sponsored
Sponsored

In March 2009, Frank promoted Jamie to the top, dubbed her Los Angeles Dodgers CEO. A Dodgers PR release said, “As CEO, Jamie will oversee the strategic direction and decisions of the organization, focusing on the development of relationships throughout the Dodgers community and Major League Baseball, and with corporate partners and public officials. Jamie will also lead business development initiatives in order to grow the global Dodgers brand across all platforms. She will remain responsible for driving the organizational culture within the Dodgers family.”

The infallible rule of thumb states that if you can’t describe your job in three words or less — dockworker, lawyer, teacher, stockbroker, computer programmer — then you have a fake job. Jamie’s new job requires 61 words, which makes it a world-class fake job.

But, fake or no, there she was, CEO. Seven months later, Frank fires her. Jamie files for divorce. Frank says she was having an affair with the chauffeur. Things went downhill from there.

Of course, money rolls downhill; in this instance, in the direction of Jamie God-bless-the-divorce-laws-of-California McCourt, who is asserting her right to 50 percent of the Dodgers.

Messy divorce cases bring out messy secrets. Court documents say the pair took $105 million from Dodgers World and yet, magically, paid no taxes. Their spawn had paid positions with the team but didn’t appear to be doing anything. The L.A. Times investigated and found that McCourt’s holding company, which owns the Dodgers, Dodger Stadium, and the land around the ballpark, has $620 million of debt. And so on.

But, no matter what happens, Frank and Jamie will be fine. All the lawyers will be fine and then some. The Dodgers will be fine. Major League Baseball will be fine. But, you know who isn’t going to be fine? Vladimir Shpunt. The little guy.

Val, 72, worked for the Dodgers. He was employed there for five years. This is not an insignificant period of time. Val, a late-life Russian immigrant with three degrees in physics, settled in the Boston area. He was introduced to Jamie when she was suffering from a severe eye infection. He put his psychic powers to use and Jamie healed. Next thing you know, Val is employed by the Dodgers, tasked to send positive energy to the boys while they were on the field. Val figured his intercession was worth a bump of 10 to 15 percent in wins. In his five years, Val attended one game. He watched the other games at home on his TV, sending positive Val vibes coast to coast. His salary is said to have been in the six figures.

Let’s talk numbers. Val left the Dodgers in 2008, the year the lads won the National League West. Nowadays, the owners are in court, bankers at the door, and lawyers have infested the Los Angeles basin. Who will rehire Vladimir Shpunt and get the Dodgers back in the game?

I give you five words. Charlie Sheen and borrowed money.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Pie pleasure at Queenstown Public House

A taste of New Zealand brings back happy memories
Next Article

Escondido planners nix office building switch to apartments

Not enough open space, not enough closets for Hickory Street plans
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader