Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Swimming

Carolyn Miller (photo by Michael O'Shea)
Carolyn Miller (photo by Michael O'Shea)

for Marilyn

  • My old friend and I step down into the pool’s warm
  • chlorinated water, no longer thin, dark-haired girls
  • as when we met. We push out into the lap lanes
  • in our women’s bodies. Her hair, once chestnut,
  • to her waist, is cropped, completely white; mine is mostly gray.
  • We have survived womanhood, the scars hidden
  • underneath our swimsuits: she has only one breast,
  • like an Amazon; I have empty space where my female organs were.
  • We swim slowly, inexpertly, without husbands or children,
  • as we were that summer night in Kansas City, with Ken and Bob
  • at the Jewel Box, our first female-impersonators’ bar,
  • and the Blue Room, our first black bar, drinking
  • Singapore slings and sloe gin fizzes, staying up all night
  • and going swimming in our underwear at 4 a.m.
  • in a lake in Kansas. We built a fire on the shore,
  • and I told Bob he looked like Stephen Dedalus
  • in Portrait of the Artist, in the scene of his epiphany
  • on the beach. I’ve always liked to think I saved our lives
  • later, on the turnpike, by waking Ken when he dozed off
  • behind the wheel. Now, still young, he and Bob are dead of AIDS,
  • deaths none of us then could have imagined.
  • Old friends, we swim our slow, unathletic laps. We were
  • intense, emotional girls. We believed
  • that art made life worth living, and it does. We thought that life
  • would give us everything, and it has.
  • We are still burning, plunging through the pool’s bright surface,
  • buoyant in the sweet and bitter water.

Carolyn Miller is a San Francisco poet, editor and painter who leads poetry-writing workshops in both France and the Bay Area. The poem “Swimming” is from Carolyn Miller’s collection After Cocteau, published by Sixteen Rivers Press, and is reprinted with permission.

Sponsored
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Gonzo Report: Hockey Dad brings UCSD vets and Australians to the Quartyard

Bending the stage barriers in East Village
Next Article

Big kited bluefin on the Red Rooster III

Lake fishing heating up as the weather cools
Carolyn Miller (photo by Michael O'Shea)
Carolyn Miller (photo by Michael O'Shea)

for Marilyn

  • My old friend and I step down into the pool’s warm
  • chlorinated water, no longer thin, dark-haired girls
  • as when we met. We push out into the lap lanes
  • in our women’s bodies. Her hair, once chestnut,
  • to her waist, is cropped, completely white; mine is mostly gray.
  • We have survived womanhood, the scars hidden
  • underneath our swimsuits: she has only one breast,
  • like an Amazon; I have empty space where my female organs were.
  • We swim slowly, inexpertly, without husbands or children,
  • as we were that summer night in Kansas City, with Ken and Bob
  • at the Jewel Box, our first female-impersonators’ bar,
  • and the Blue Room, our first black bar, drinking
  • Singapore slings and sloe gin fizzes, staying up all night
  • and going swimming in our underwear at 4 a.m.
  • in a lake in Kansas. We built a fire on the shore,
  • and I told Bob he looked like Stephen Dedalus
  • in Portrait of the Artist, in the scene of his epiphany
  • on the beach. I’ve always liked to think I saved our lives
  • later, on the turnpike, by waking Ken when he dozed off
  • behind the wheel. Now, still young, he and Bob are dead of AIDS,
  • deaths none of us then could have imagined.
  • Old friends, we swim our slow, unathletic laps. We were
  • intense, emotional girls. We believed
  • that art made life worth living, and it does. We thought that life
  • would give us everything, and it has.
  • We are still burning, plunging through the pool’s bright surface,
  • buoyant in the sweet and bitter water.

Carolyn Miller is a San Francisco poet, editor and painter who leads poetry-writing workshops in both France and the Bay Area. The poem “Swimming” is from Carolyn Miller’s collection After Cocteau, published by Sixteen Rivers Press, and is reprinted with permission.

Sponsored
Sponsored
Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Hike off those holiday calories, Poinsettias are peaking

Winter Solstice is here and what is winter?
Next Article

Gonzo Report: Hockey Dad brings UCSD vets and Australians to the Quartyard

Bending the stage barriers in East Village
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader