Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Groovy Eugene, Oregon

Eugene is probably the grooviest city in the Northwest, if, for no other reason, because of the Ken Kesey statue on town square. The Chief was dead when the statue was cast, a security guard tells me on a cloudy Oregon afternoon. Kesey is sitting, which means he was dead. It’s a sculptor thing. A trade joke.

Across the plaza, a college kid blasts laptop breakbeats through distorted subwoofers in an impromptu dance party. The music is audible from blocks away. A definite noise violation elsewhere, the overdriven bass and blips serve as little more than a backdrop over which the didactic rent-a-cop can tell a tourist about what he calls “the greatest effigy in the country.”

“You know someone died in war if they are on a horse with the front legs bucking,” the guard continues. “Oh hey, that was a cool beat.”

Sitting at the confluence of the Willamette and McKenzie rivers, Eugene’s byline is “The World's Greatest City of the Arts and Outdoors.” Bagby, Cougar, Umpqua and a handful of “secret” hot springs are within an hour’s drive. Accentuating Eugene’s undeniably counter-culture ethic, the Oregon Country Fair (which has roots in early Kesey and Grateful Dead hijinks) takes place 15 miles west of the city annually.

Sponsored
Sponsored

In 2000, Mayor Jim Torrey dubbed Eugene the “anarchist capitol of the United States,” a proclamation which inspires confidence in my sojourn as I approach a co-op house near the University of Oregon in search of shelter for the night. The Campbell Club is thrilled to host a sanguine hitchhiker, as it turns out, so we share some PBRs on the porch before making our way to the vegan co-op next door. A pungent crowd of college kids and social drop-outs of every ilk dance with abandon to a chic punk bluegrass band upstairs.

Washtub bass and tangled hair, singing whiskey, heartbreak, done deals with the Devil.

Later, I end up at Joggers Sports Bar [editor's note: now closed] downtown with fellow Campbell Club guest Sam. We meet an old man named Mike by the billiard table. He's a little drunk and looks like a tugboat captain. His pal Les is a small man with the cantankerous grin of an eight-year-old in thin white beard and overalls. He's mute from chewing tobacco; his throat collapsed years ago. Now he breathes through a hole in his neck, cigarette stains crusting where the collar meets.

Les conveys to us on a pad of paper that if we want to play pool, we will have to beat him first. Sam steps up and is stomped badly. Quadruple combos, behind-the-backs, one-handers. Les sinks the 8 and sets his glare on me.

I don’t sink a single ball. Les’ tracheotomy chuckles a little. I sit down and chat with Mike.

"Boy, if I was twenty years younger I'd be nailing every girl in this bar," Mike says.

"What do you mean?” I protest. “These girls are trollops. Look at all that makeup. And the karaoke! I mean, Avril Lavigne? Give yourself some credit, man!"

He looks at me like I must be gay or at least asexual, but then has a different thought.

"When I was your age I thought I'd never be old,” he says, forlorn. “I thought I'd die young, and if I didn't, I'd kill myself."

"Ah man, you're not so..."

"I'm old."

I become quiet, then, because somehow I know that one day I'll utter those exact same words and get all fumbled up like Ole Tugboat Mike has by the mere presence of fertile young women at the bar.

But Mike chooses Life, tonight, so I buy him a drink to remind him that it's not all bad. Sweet mercy, we still have friends. And beer!

I lose a few more games to Les, who is getting drunk rapidly. His game remains solid, but his handwriting becomes loose and erratic. He takes on a new air. He wants badly to insult me for sport, but the message fails to carry. His handwriting has become entirely illegible.

We step out onto the street, Mike’s spirits suddenly lifted as we shamble down Willamette. Les makes alien guttural monk sounds and Tugboat Mike lights up his pipe, shouting bits of Rolling Stones lyrics deep into the mysterious, rain-soaked night.

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

San Diego Dim Sum Tour, Warwick’s Holiday Open House

Events November 24-November 27, 2024

Eugene is probably the grooviest city in the Northwest, if, for no other reason, because of the Ken Kesey statue on town square. The Chief was dead when the statue was cast, a security guard tells me on a cloudy Oregon afternoon. Kesey is sitting, which means he was dead. It’s a sculptor thing. A trade joke.

Across the plaza, a college kid blasts laptop breakbeats through distorted subwoofers in an impromptu dance party. The music is audible from blocks away. A definite noise violation elsewhere, the overdriven bass and blips serve as little more than a backdrop over which the didactic rent-a-cop can tell a tourist about what he calls “the greatest effigy in the country.”

“You know someone died in war if they are on a horse with the front legs bucking,” the guard continues. “Oh hey, that was a cool beat.”

Sitting at the confluence of the Willamette and McKenzie rivers, Eugene’s byline is “The World's Greatest City of the Arts and Outdoors.” Bagby, Cougar, Umpqua and a handful of “secret” hot springs are within an hour’s drive. Accentuating Eugene’s undeniably counter-culture ethic, the Oregon Country Fair (which has roots in early Kesey and Grateful Dead hijinks) takes place 15 miles west of the city annually.

Sponsored
Sponsored

In 2000, Mayor Jim Torrey dubbed Eugene the “anarchist capitol of the United States,” a proclamation which inspires confidence in my sojourn as I approach a co-op house near the University of Oregon in search of shelter for the night. The Campbell Club is thrilled to host a sanguine hitchhiker, as it turns out, so we share some PBRs on the porch before making our way to the vegan co-op next door. A pungent crowd of college kids and social drop-outs of every ilk dance with abandon to a chic punk bluegrass band upstairs.

Washtub bass and tangled hair, singing whiskey, heartbreak, done deals with the Devil.

Later, I end up at Joggers Sports Bar [editor's note: now closed] downtown with fellow Campbell Club guest Sam. We meet an old man named Mike by the billiard table. He's a little drunk and looks like a tugboat captain. His pal Les is a small man with the cantankerous grin of an eight-year-old in thin white beard and overalls. He's mute from chewing tobacco; his throat collapsed years ago. Now he breathes through a hole in his neck, cigarette stains crusting where the collar meets.

Les conveys to us on a pad of paper that if we want to play pool, we will have to beat him first. Sam steps up and is stomped badly. Quadruple combos, behind-the-backs, one-handers. Les sinks the 8 and sets his glare on me.

I don’t sink a single ball. Les’ tracheotomy chuckles a little. I sit down and chat with Mike.

"Boy, if I was twenty years younger I'd be nailing every girl in this bar," Mike says.

"What do you mean?” I protest. “These girls are trollops. Look at all that makeup. And the karaoke! I mean, Avril Lavigne? Give yourself some credit, man!"

He looks at me like I must be gay or at least asexual, but then has a different thought.

"When I was your age I thought I'd never be old,” he says, forlorn. “I thought I'd die young, and if I didn't, I'd kill myself."

"Ah man, you're not so..."

"I'm old."

I become quiet, then, because somehow I know that one day I'll utter those exact same words and get all fumbled up like Ole Tugboat Mike has by the mere presence of fertile young women at the bar.

But Mike chooses Life, tonight, so I buy him a drink to remind him that it's not all bad. Sweet mercy, we still have friends. And beer!

I lose a few more games to Les, who is getting drunk rapidly. His game remains solid, but his handwriting becomes loose and erratic. He takes on a new air. He wants badly to insult me for sport, but the message fails to carry. His handwriting has become entirely illegible.

We step out onto the street, Mike’s spirits suddenly lifted as we shamble down Willamette. Les makes alien guttural monk sounds and Tugboat Mike lights up his pipe, shouting bits of Rolling Stones lyrics deep into the mysterious, rain-soaked night.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Now what can they do with Encinitas unstable cliffs?

Make the cliffs fall, put up more warnings, fine beachgoers?
Next Article

Southern California Asks: 'What Is Vinivia?' Meet the New Creator-First Livestreaming App

Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader