Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Omaheehaw

[Editor’s note: Regi Rae admits that she submitted her blog mainly to draw attention to her videos. It was a good trick. Her investigative report on IHOP’s refusal to sell Smiley-Face pancakes to people over 12 bodes well for the future of Internet journalism.]

Post Date: July 17, 2007
Post Title: Supermarkets Aren’t that Super
Grocery workers. Every year, we watch them strike. Is there really ANYONE in this world who wakes up and decides that working in a supermarket is their dream job? If you’re reading this right now, and you or a pal of yours is thinking about sending your resumé to a local corporate market, stop it from happening. Stop before I’m forced to watch you wave your little cardboard signs in my face one to six years down the road, because it takes you a lifetime of checkout experience, mixed with many aisle clean-ups and grumpy hungry people who complain about long lines at 6 p.m. while the self-checkout lane is vacant, to realize that you’re unhappy. Maybe a release form should be attached to the applications informing applicants that they won’t make more than 20 bucks an hour because it is, in fact, a supermarket, not a stock market. Everyone needs to use the self-checkout lanes from this day forward. You see, pissy cashiers who act like they don’t want to ring you out will be happy at the moment because they won’t have to help you...yes, happy, until they SLOWLY realize they’re being replaced, and one to six years later they are jobless. Bet the self-checkouts won’t strike and wave signs in our faces, stepping into the street, standing in front of our cars, interrupting our Clay Aiken lyrics.

Post Date: April 17, 2006
Post Title: If You See a Woman...
...run away. Go. Don’t look back to see what she’s wearing; don’t stop to hear what she has to say. Just keep moving. Keep marbles in your pocket at all times and toss them to the ground if you hear her female feet clicking on the pavement three steps behind you! (Deep breath) AND FOR LOLLI-POP SAKE, DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT! Do you hear me!? We have to keep moving...they lie, cheat, and tell damn good stories. Stay away! For this is the only way. ESPECIALLY the straight ones...for they are my weakness.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Post Date: February 28, 2006
Post Title: 11:52 p.m., Stuff Grape Up Nose
Sooo...I was thinking... Am I a broken lesbian? No, really, I hit on straight-ish girls and never turn my head at my own kind unless it’s an accidental force of gravitational pull.... Ever randomly stuff a grape up your nose when no one is around just to see what happens? [Shoves grape up nose.] Now, we wait...

Post Date: June 10, 2005
Post Title: Blow, Omaha, Blow
Sigh. Reasons I left resting before my eyes...Omaha was a well-needed visit...I continue to grow...Omaha is a portrait, still life with new structures...Miss it, hate it, love it, I’m part of it...Now I feel that Southern Cal isn’t far enough away. And her. I meet women each day...but not her. You don’t meet people like her, not ever. I’d still like to meet her. One day.

Post Date: May 21, 2005
Post Title: Sport Bras Shouldn’t Be Sported
I was standing in line waiting for that sweet coffee from my favorite coffee-shop girlie when I came to the realization that we as a society are not doing our part in making sure that women support their breasts properly. [Glance out door.] There she was, walking past the coffee shop, one boob and all. These bras are not only ruining, but offending, the architecture of the breast. I don’t know who is responsible for making such a terrible decision with fabric, but I can tell you that it sooooo wasn’t a lesbian. Granted, I never had a “training bra,” because my boobs knew how to be boobs from day one [wink]. But imagine how most boobs feel going through the training to be a good boob only to be shattered by [sip coffee]...never mind, it’s a man [blush].... Don’t even get me started on man boobs. I wonder if he’s single [sip].

Post Date: May 7, 2005
Post Title: Wish I Was a Fish
I woke up in time to hop in an editing suite...still wearing the clothes from the night before and, well, my fingers were glued together. For once in my life, I felt like Barbie. How did this happen? [Flashback.] I had a shot of Jagermeister...all right, it was a glass, a small one...just not as small as a shotglass [tee hee]. I was playing beauty school and found my nail glue while in a drunken state. They should really put labels on the glue about not using while intoxicated. Not that I’d read it while drinking, but I’d feel better knowing the words were there somewhere. As I squeezed the tube, glue ran down my fingers. My fish were the only witnesses around. Their mouths dropped open...and then closed...and then opened again...and then closed... I really thought they were in shock along with me, until I remembered, in my drunken state, Nope, they are simply breathing. And, well, since they don’t have eyelids, they can’t blink, leaving their eyes wide open at all times. I proceeded to walk toward them, showing them my hands, hoping that somehow they’d have a solution. They had nothing. So I decided to have a contest — a staring contest — they won. At that point I must have passed out.

Post Date: April 13, 2005
Post Title: New Goal
Note: I drank bubbles as a kid hoping to have a really super-cool bubble effect each time I spoke. Merrrr. Regardless of what Mama says, I think it would have worked had she not panicked, called the poison hotline, forced me to drink half a gallon of milk, and watched me puke up my five-year-old plan. Pfff.

Post Date: October 16, 2004
Post Title: 4:21 a.m. Hand Me Annudda Shotglass!
Went to P.B. in search of girls. No, no...WOMEN... 1:19 a.m., we venture to gentlemen’s club [wink], only to find that no such gentlemen live inside. 11 p.m.-4 a.m., talked to too many women about the importance of Velcro. Damn.

Title: Omaheehaw Was My Homo | Address: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.listAll&friendID=4488696&startID=257437098&StartPostedDate={ts%20’2007-04-24%2023:31:00’}&prev=1&page=0&Mytoken=437A0B4B-233B-4511-9C031E0CE5E5556E500366
Author: Regi Rae | Blogging from: Escondido | Blogging since: 2004

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Our lowest temps are typically in January, Tree aloes blooming for the birds

Big surf changes our shorelines
Next Article

Use San Diego crosswalks at your own peril

But new state law clearing nearby parking might backfire

[Editor’s note: Regi Rae admits that she submitted her blog mainly to draw attention to her videos. It was a good trick. Her investigative report on IHOP’s refusal to sell Smiley-Face pancakes to people over 12 bodes well for the future of Internet journalism.]

Post Date: July 17, 2007
Post Title: Supermarkets Aren’t that Super
Grocery workers. Every year, we watch them strike. Is there really ANYONE in this world who wakes up and decides that working in a supermarket is their dream job? If you’re reading this right now, and you or a pal of yours is thinking about sending your resumé to a local corporate market, stop it from happening. Stop before I’m forced to watch you wave your little cardboard signs in my face one to six years down the road, because it takes you a lifetime of checkout experience, mixed with many aisle clean-ups and grumpy hungry people who complain about long lines at 6 p.m. while the self-checkout lane is vacant, to realize that you’re unhappy. Maybe a release form should be attached to the applications informing applicants that they won’t make more than 20 bucks an hour because it is, in fact, a supermarket, not a stock market. Everyone needs to use the self-checkout lanes from this day forward. You see, pissy cashiers who act like they don’t want to ring you out will be happy at the moment because they won’t have to help you...yes, happy, until they SLOWLY realize they’re being replaced, and one to six years later they are jobless. Bet the self-checkouts won’t strike and wave signs in our faces, stepping into the street, standing in front of our cars, interrupting our Clay Aiken lyrics.

Post Date: April 17, 2006
Post Title: If You See a Woman...
...run away. Go. Don’t look back to see what she’s wearing; don’t stop to hear what she has to say. Just keep moving. Keep marbles in your pocket at all times and toss them to the ground if you hear her female feet clicking on the pavement three steps behind you! (Deep breath) AND FOR LOLLI-POP SAKE, DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT! Do you hear me!? We have to keep moving...they lie, cheat, and tell damn good stories. Stay away! For this is the only way. ESPECIALLY the straight ones...for they are my weakness.

Sponsored
Sponsored

Post Date: February 28, 2006
Post Title: 11:52 p.m., Stuff Grape Up Nose
Sooo...I was thinking... Am I a broken lesbian? No, really, I hit on straight-ish girls and never turn my head at my own kind unless it’s an accidental force of gravitational pull.... Ever randomly stuff a grape up your nose when no one is around just to see what happens? [Shoves grape up nose.] Now, we wait...

Post Date: June 10, 2005
Post Title: Blow, Omaha, Blow
Sigh. Reasons I left resting before my eyes...Omaha was a well-needed visit...I continue to grow...Omaha is a portrait, still life with new structures...Miss it, hate it, love it, I’m part of it...Now I feel that Southern Cal isn’t far enough away. And her. I meet women each day...but not her. You don’t meet people like her, not ever. I’d still like to meet her. One day.

Post Date: May 21, 2005
Post Title: Sport Bras Shouldn’t Be Sported
I was standing in line waiting for that sweet coffee from my favorite coffee-shop girlie when I came to the realization that we as a society are not doing our part in making sure that women support their breasts properly. [Glance out door.] There she was, walking past the coffee shop, one boob and all. These bras are not only ruining, but offending, the architecture of the breast. I don’t know who is responsible for making such a terrible decision with fabric, but I can tell you that it sooooo wasn’t a lesbian. Granted, I never had a “training bra,” because my boobs knew how to be boobs from day one [wink]. But imagine how most boobs feel going through the training to be a good boob only to be shattered by [sip coffee]...never mind, it’s a man [blush].... Don’t even get me started on man boobs. I wonder if he’s single [sip].

Post Date: May 7, 2005
Post Title: Wish I Was a Fish
I woke up in time to hop in an editing suite...still wearing the clothes from the night before and, well, my fingers were glued together. For once in my life, I felt like Barbie. How did this happen? [Flashback.] I had a shot of Jagermeister...all right, it was a glass, a small one...just not as small as a shotglass [tee hee]. I was playing beauty school and found my nail glue while in a drunken state. They should really put labels on the glue about not using while intoxicated. Not that I’d read it while drinking, but I’d feel better knowing the words were there somewhere. As I squeezed the tube, glue ran down my fingers. My fish were the only witnesses around. Their mouths dropped open...and then closed...and then opened again...and then closed... I really thought they were in shock along with me, until I remembered, in my drunken state, Nope, they are simply breathing. And, well, since they don’t have eyelids, they can’t blink, leaving their eyes wide open at all times. I proceeded to walk toward them, showing them my hands, hoping that somehow they’d have a solution. They had nothing. So I decided to have a contest — a staring contest — they won. At that point I must have passed out.

Post Date: April 13, 2005
Post Title: New Goal
Note: I drank bubbles as a kid hoping to have a really super-cool bubble effect each time I spoke. Merrrr. Regardless of what Mama says, I think it would have worked had she not panicked, called the poison hotline, forced me to drink half a gallon of milk, and watched me puke up my five-year-old plan. Pfff.

Post Date: October 16, 2004
Post Title: 4:21 a.m. Hand Me Annudda Shotglass!
Went to P.B. in search of girls. No, no...WOMEN... 1:19 a.m., we venture to gentlemen’s club [wink], only to find that no such gentlemen live inside. 11 p.m.-4 a.m., talked to too many women about the importance of Velcro. Damn.

Title: Omaheehaw Was My Homo | Address: http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.listAll&friendID=4488696&startID=257437098&StartPostedDate={ts%20’2007-04-24%2023:31:00’}&prev=1&page=0&Mytoken=437A0B4B-233B-4511-9C031E0CE5E5556E500366
Author: Regi Rae | Blogging from: Escondido | Blogging since: 2004

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Mary Catherine Swanson wants every San Diego student going to college

Where busing from Southeast San Diego to University City has led
Next Article

Ben Benavente, Karl Denson, Schizophonics, Matt Heinecke, Frankie & the Witch Fingers

Troubadours, ensembles, and Kosmic Konvergences in Mission Beach, Del Mar, Little Italy, La Jolla, City Heights
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader