Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Too Many Passive Verbs

She cajoled me. She encouraged me. She got tough on my ass.

Judith Moore called me in the fall of 1995, when I was living temporarily in Laguna Beach and teaching at UC Irvine for a semester. Judith was familiar with my poems and deduced from some of them that I'd grown up on a dairy farm. She wanted me to write an article for the Reader on one of the last remaining dairymen in San Diego County, a man named Pete Verboom. He lived in the Pauma Valley, only 40 or 50 miles from Laguna but an entirely different world.

Sponsored
Sponsored

She said the article had to be at least 6000 words long. Then she said something I hadn't heard before in my writing life and haven't heard much since: the Reader would pay me! I said, "Sure" to Judith. To myself, I said, "How hard can this be?"

A few days later, I said to myself, "I don't have the slightest idea how to do this!" I visited Mr. Verboom's farm for a few days -- put on the rubber boots, watched him and his brother pull some calves, interviewed him and his wife at length. Mr. Verboom gave me a journal that his father had written on the voyage from postwar Holland to a new life in the USA, an aid to the assignment. I tried to write the article -- it was a miserable mess, with awkward, dopey sentences. Nonfiction is a craft, and even though I've read a great deal of it, I had no idea how to write it.

And over and over again Judith helped. I was back in the East, living in Boston (where my daughter was) and commuting to New York (where I taught). Judith gave me tips: "The people you interview write a lot of the article for you!" She cajoled me. She encouraged me. She got tough on my ass. I remember once saying something like "So you're giving me permission to..." and she said, "No, I'm telling you to!" She beat me over the head for using too many passive verbs, the same thing for which I beat my poetry students over the head. We'd often talk for two or three hours at a time -- about this article and others that followed. She spent a huge amount of energy trying to help me write decent prose sentences.

We became friends during these talks too, telling each other our sad and our happy stories. She was my teacher -- getting me up to maybe a B- level. Not bad, considering where I began: sub-F.

Judith was a wonderful writer. I loved her long and beautifully (a word she forbade me to use!) written series on the San Diego mob figure Frank Bompensiero. I hope these articles get published in a book someday. They should have been in the running for a Pulitzer. I loved her book Never Eat Your Heart Out. I loved her last book, Fat Girl. She was just beginning to get major recognition for her own work. I was delighted when she got a Guggenheim Fellowship before she became ill. We must have talked and (later) e-mailed for hundreds of hours in the nearly ten years I knew her. Judith Moore was my friend. I loved her. We never once met in person.

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Aaron Stewart trades Christmas wonders for his first new music in 15 years

“Just because the job part was done, didn’t mean the passion had to die”
Next Article

Memories of bonfires amid the pits off Palm

Before it was Ocean View Hills, it was party central

Judith Moore called me in the fall of 1995, when I was living temporarily in Laguna Beach and teaching at UC Irvine for a semester. Judith was familiar with my poems and deduced from some of them that I'd grown up on a dairy farm. She wanted me to write an article for the Reader on one of the last remaining dairymen in San Diego County, a man named Pete Verboom. He lived in the Pauma Valley, only 40 or 50 miles from Laguna but an entirely different world.

Sponsored
Sponsored

She said the article had to be at least 6000 words long. Then she said something I hadn't heard before in my writing life and haven't heard much since: the Reader would pay me! I said, "Sure" to Judith. To myself, I said, "How hard can this be?"

A few days later, I said to myself, "I don't have the slightest idea how to do this!" I visited Mr. Verboom's farm for a few days -- put on the rubber boots, watched him and his brother pull some calves, interviewed him and his wife at length. Mr. Verboom gave me a journal that his father had written on the voyage from postwar Holland to a new life in the USA, an aid to the assignment. I tried to write the article -- it was a miserable mess, with awkward, dopey sentences. Nonfiction is a craft, and even though I've read a great deal of it, I had no idea how to write it.

And over and over again Judith helped. I was back in the East, living in Boston (where my daughter was) and commuting to New York (where I taught). Judith gave me tips: "The people you interview write a lot of the article for you!" She cajoled me. She encouraged me. She got tough on my ass. I remember once saying something like "So you're giving me permission to..." and she said, "No, I'm telling you to!" She beat me over the head for using too many passive verbs, the same thing for which I beat my poetry students over the head. We'd often talk for two or three hours at a time -- about this article and others that followed. She spent a huge amount of energy trying to help me write decent prose sentences.

We became friends during these talks too, telling each other our sad and our happy stories. She was my teacher -- getting me up to maybe a B- level. Not bad, considering where I began: sub-F.

Judith was a wonderful writer. I loved her long and beautifully (a word she forbade me to use!) written series on the San Diego mob figure Frank Bompensiero. I hope these articles get published in a book someday. They should have been in the running for a Pulitzer. I loved her book Never Eat Your Heart Out. I loved her last book, Fat Girl. She was just beginning to get major recognition for her own work. I was delighted when she got a Guggenheim Fellowship before she became ill. We must have talked and (later) e-mailed for hundreds of hours in the nearly ten years I knew her. Judith Moore was my friend. I loved her. We never once met in person.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Gonzo Report: Hockey Dad brings UCSD vets and Australians to the Quartyard

Bending the stage barriers in East Village
Next Article

Aaron Stewart trades Christmas wonders for his first new music in 15 years

“Just because the job part was done, didn’t mean the passion had to die”
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader