Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

As close as they'll ever come to giving birth

Jack has kidney stones

Jack's pain just scared me.
Jack's pain just scared me.

I had been asleep less than two hours when my husband Jack woke me. I opened my eyes to see Jack writhing on his side of the bed. His knees were drawn up to his chest. Deep grooves lined his forehead.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” Jack’s voice was husky and strained. “I woke up about an hour ago with a bad pain in my left lower back. I went downstairs so I wouldn’t wake you. It’s getting worse. I threw up, but I think it was just from the pain.”

“I’ll call Dr. Blank.” I got out of bed and padded downstairs to the kitchen. I left our number on Dr. Blank’s pager and went back upstairs. The phone rang in a couple of

minutes.

“Thanks for calling back so quickly,” I told Dr. Blank. I explained Jack’s symptoms.

“It sounds like he has kidney stones or he’s pulled something in his back. Neither is life-threatening. But you do need to take him to the emergency room so they can find out what it is and give him something for the pain. Call me in the morning and let me know what happens.”

Sponsored
Sponsored

The next call I made was to a close friend who lives five minutes from our house. “Bill, it’s Anne,” I told my sleepy friend. “I’m really sorry to wake you at two in the morning. I’ve got to take Jack to the emergency room. Could you or Betsy come over and sleep on our couch in case the kids wake up?” Jack pulled on some jeans and sat hunched over on the side of the bed. I eased his socks and shoes onto his feet and clumsily tied the thick laces. Jack stumbled downstairs and climbed into the back of our van. He kneeled on the floor beside the middle seat and buried his face in the upholstery. Every few seconds he moaned. Bill appeared as I opened the garage door. “There are two small bottles of juice at the top of the stairs,” I explained. “If Johnny wakes up, just give him one of the bottles and let him lie down with you. He should go back to sleep. If one of the girls wakes up, tell them we had to take Daddy to the doctor, and we’ll be home in the morning.”

Bill waved sleepily as I backed out of the driveway and steered the van out of the dark cul-de-sac.

As I sped toward the hospital, I thought of all the times Jack has driven me to the hospital in the middle of the night. Those times, when our children were born, the empty streets seemed strangely intimate. We moved toward the maternity ward with excitement and anticipation. Even the pain of contractions felt hopeful, constructive, pain with a purpose.

Jack’s pain just scared me. I glanced in the rearview mirror. “We’re almost there,” I told him.

Jack moaned in reply.

At the emergency room, the nurses treated Jack’s agony matter-of-factly. “Is he allergic to any medications?” the triage nurse asked as Jack rocked back and forth in the hard plastic chair.

“No,” I answered.

I helped Jack tie the laces on his white hospital gown. Then we waited behind curtain number four for what felt like 20 minutes. Finally Jack raised his head and looked at me like a fox with his foot caught in a trap. “I don’t know how long I can do this,” he croaked.

I stuck my head out into the corridor and asked one of the receptionists, “Do you know where our nurse is?”

“She’ll be right back,” the receptionist said.

A few minutes later, our nurse, Kelly, walked in with Fran, the physician’s assistants They stood at the side of Jack’s bed. Fran said, “We’ll get you hooked up to an I.V., Mr. Albright, and then we’ll get you something for the pain.”

They couldn’t find a vein in Jack’s arm and had to put the I.V. in his hand. “Here comes relief,” Kelly said and injected something into Jack’s I.V.

A few moments later, she asked, “Did that help?”

Jack shook his head, “No,” and kept his eyes shut.

“Give him the other 30,” Fran told Kelly.

Kelly emptied the syringe into the I.V. “Feel any better?”

Jack shook his head again.

“Let’s go with morphine,” Fran said.

While Kelly went to get the morphine, Fran explained that for men, the pain of kidney stones is as close as they’ll ever come to giving birth.

Ten minutes later, when they had given Jack 15 milligrams of morphine, he opened his eyes. The lines on his forehead softened. He smiled at Kelly. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely.

Three hours, one CAT scan, and two more doses of morphine later, I drove Jack home. The nurses told us that Jack had two kidney stones. They weren’t big enough to warrant surgery. Jack had to drink lots of water and take painkillers until the stones passed out of his body within the next few days.

When we got home just before dawn. Bill sat on the family-room couch with Johnny. Johnny raised his bottle to Jack. “Dah-deee,” Johnny said.

“We’re partyin’, dude,” Bill replied.

“Not for a while,” Jack said and went upstairs to bed.

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Houston ex-mayor donates to Toni Atkins governor fund

LGBT fights in common
Jack's pain just scared me.
Jack's pain just scared me.

I had been asleep less than two hours when my husband Jack woke me. I opened my eyes to see Jack writhing on his side of the bed. His knees were drawn up to his chest. Deep grooves lined his forehead.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” Jack’s voice was husky and strained. “I woke up about an hour ago with a bad pain in my left lower back. I went downstairs so I wouldn’t wake you. It’s getting worse. I threw up, but I think it was just from the pain.”

“I’ll call Dr. Blank.” I got out of bed and padded downstairs to the kitchen. I left our number on Dr. Blank’s pager and went back upstairs. The phone rang in a couple of

minutes.

“Thanks for calling back so quickly,” I told Dr. Blank. I explained Jack’s symptoms.

“It sounds like he has kidney stones or he’s pulled something in his back. Neither is life-threatening. But you do need to take him to the emergency room so they can find out what it is and give him something for the pain. Call me in the morning and let me know what happens.”

Sponsored
Sponsored

The next call I made was to a close friend who lives five minutes from our house. “Bill, it’s Anne,” I told my sleepy friend. “I’m really sorry to wake you at two in the morning. I’ve got to take Jack to the emergency room. Could you or Betsy come over and sleep on our couch in case the kids wake up?” Jack pulled on some jeans and sat hunched over on the side of the bed. I eased his socks and shoes onto his feet and clumsily tied the thick laces. Jack stumbled downstairs and climbed into the back of our van. He kneeled on the floor beside the middle seat and buried his face in the upholstery. Every few seconds he moaned. Bill appeared as I opened the garage door. “There are two small bottles of juice at the top of the stairs,” I explained. “If Johnny wakes up, just give him one of the bottles and let him lie down with you. He should go back to sleep. If one of the girls wakes up, tell them we had to take Daddy to the doctor, and we’ll be home in the morning.”

Bill waved sleepily as I backed out of the driveway and steered the van out of the dark cul-de-sac.

As I sped toward the hospital, I thought of all the times Jack has driven me to the hospital in the middle of the night. Those times, when our children were born, the empty streets seemed strangely intimate. We moved toward the maternity ward with excitement and anticipation. Even the pain of contractions felt hopeful, constructive, pain with a purpose.

Jack’s pain just scared me. I glanced in the rearview mirror. “We’re almost there,” I told him.

Jack moaned in reply.

At the emergency room, the nurses treated Jack’s agony matter-of-factly. “Is he allergic to any medications?” the triage nurse asked as Jack rocked back and forth in the hard plastic chair.

“No,” I answered.

I helped Jack tie the laces on his white hospital gown. Then we waited behind curtain number four for what felt like 20 minutes. Finally Jack raised his head and looked at me like a fox with his foot caught in a trap. “I don’t know how long I can do this,” he croaked.

I stuck my head out into the corridor and asked one of the receptionists, “Do you know where our nurse is?”

“She’ll be right back,” the receptionist said.

A few minutes later, our nurse, Kelly, walked in with Fran, the physician’s assistants They stood at the side of Jack’s bed. Fran said, “We’ll get you hooked up to an I.V., Mr. Albright, and then we’ll get you something for the pain.”

They couldn’t find a vein in Jack’s arm and had to put the I.V. in his hand. “Here comes relief,” Kelly said and injected something into Jack’s I.V.

A few moments later, she asked, “Did that help?”

Jack shook his head, “No,” and kept his eyes shut.

“Give him the other 30,” Fran told Kelly.

Kelly emptied the syringe into the I.V. “Feel any better?”

Jack shook his head again.

“Let’s go with morphine,” Fran said.

While Kelly went to get the morphine, Fran explained that for men, the pain of kidney stones is as close as they’ll ever come to giving birth.

Ten minutes later, when they had given Jack 15 milligrams of morphine, he opened his eyes. The lines on his forehead softened. He smiled at Kelly. “Thank you,” he said hoarsely.

Three hours, one CAT scan, and two more doses of morphine later, I drove Jack home. The nurses told us that Jack had two kidney stones. They weren’t big enough to warrant surgery. Jack had to drink lots of water and take painkillers until the stones passed out of his body within the next few days.

When we got home just before dawn. Bill sat on the family-room couch with Johnny. Johnny raised his bottle to Jack. “Dah-deee,” Johnny said.

“We’re partyin’, dude,” Bill replied.

“Not for a while,” Jack said and went upstairs to bed.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Trump disses digital catapults

Biden likes General Atomics drones
Next Article

Two poems for Christmas by Joseph Brodsky

Star of the Nativity and Nativity Poem
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader