Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Why do restaurants serve 5-7 rolls of bread when there are 2 of us?

Stardate 092199.1401

Oh Great All-knowing Guru:

Sponsored
Sponsored

My significant other and I eat out twice a week. If we eat in a restaurant that serves bread or rolls, invariably they give us three or five or seven pieces, even though most of them can count and see that there are only two of us. Why do they do this? Those places that serve bread always slice it about three-quarters of the way through. It's usually sourdough bread, so we have to fight and tear through the remaining one-quarter, at which point the bread is smushed and not looking very edible. Why do they do this? And when it comes time to use the salt and pepper, the shakers are crammed to the top and one cannot shake anything out of them. Not only why do they do this, but how do they do this?

-- Russell, Mt. Helix. Kirk out.

Oh, I can hear it all now. It's Friday night. You're in the transporter yelling, "Spock! Uhura! Significant Other! Hustle it up. Our reservations are for 8:30." Significant Other whines, "Aw, Russell, do we hafta? I don't think I can take another night of it. The bread. The salt. The pepper. The tearing, the smushing, the shaking! It's driving me mad, I tell you, mad, mad!"

Cut to restaurant, 8:25 p.m. Head waiter to staff, "Inspection, inspection! We're ready for Russell and Significant, yes? The bread? Cut only half-way through tonight. Very good. Particularly devilish. The salt? Pepper? Well glued, I see. Good, good. But what's this? Six rolls in the basket, six? How many times have I told you swine, it's five or seven or... Aha! What do we have here, hidden in the fold of the presentation napkin? A minimuffin! You clever vipers. Get their hopes up, then dash them again. A gambit that will have them weeping into their arugula and perhaps earn us our first Michelin star!" Could it be a plot? Perhaps.

Clearly the fun has gone out of your dining experience. The elves and I wonder why you persist. But putting on our best Miss Manners hat and gloves with matching pumps and handbag, let us suggest that an odd number of rolls served to an even number of diners solves a delicate problem of etiquette. Who wants to be the piggy who takes the last roll from the basket? An odd number of rolls allows an even number of people to take one and still gives the last roll-taker a choice; he or she is not stuck with the dry, pointy end of the French bread. Then one roll is left in the basket so other diners won't think you're the kind of people who also put sugar packets, butter, salsa, centerpieces, and other "free" things in your pockets before you leave.

The bread-slicing insult makes the loaf easier for servers to handle and distribute, facilitates portion control, and also keeps the bread from drying out too fast. The salt? The pepper? Full shakers are the restaurant equivalent of the little triangular folds that hotels put in the ends of the toilet paper. It eliminates all traces of those who have come before. It suggests they have set up everything fresh just for you and Mr./Ms. Other. I'm sure if you arrived at a table with near-empty shakers, you'd be complaining about the restaurant's negligence. Humidity can make salt and pepper cling together, especially if the shakers aren't often used. Diminutive shakers with teeny tiny holes add to the frustration. I'm sure the chef would say that the food's properly seasoned in the kitchen, and you shouldn't need salt anyway.

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

East San Diego County has only one bike lane

So you can get out of town – from Santee to Tierrasanta

Stardate 092199.1401

Oh Great All-knowing Guru:

Sponsored
Sponsored

My significant other and I eat out twice a week. If we eat in a restaurant that serves bread or rolls, invariably they give us three or five or seven pieces, even though most of them can count and see that there are only two of us. Why do they do this? Those places that serve bread always slice it about three-quarters of the way through. It's usually sourdough bread, so we have to fight and tear through the remaining one-quarter, at which point the bread is smushed and not looking very edible. Why do they do this? And when it comes time to use the salt and pepper, the shakers are crammed to the top and one cannot shake anything out of them. Not only why do they do this, but how do they do this?

-- Russell, Mt. Helix. Kirk out.

Oh, I can hear it all now. It's Friday night. You're in the transporter yelling, "Spock! Uhura! Significant Other! Hustle it up. Our reservations are for 8:30." Significant Other whines, "Aw, Russell, do we hafta? I don't think I can take another night of it. The bread. The salt. The pepper. The tearing, the smushing, the shaking! It's driving me mad, I tell you, mad, mad!"

Cut to restaurant, 8:25 p.m. Head waiter to staff, "Inspection, inspection! We're ready for Russell and Significant, yes? The bread? Cut only half-way through tonight. Very good. Particularly devilish. The salt? Pepper? Well glued, I see. Good, good. But what's this? Six rolls in the basket, six? How many times have I told you swine, it's five or seven or... Aha! What do we have here, hidden in the fold of the presentation napkin? A minimuffin! You clever vipers. Get their hopes up, then dash them again. A gambit that will have them weeping into their arugula and perhaps earn us our first Michelin star!" Could it be a plot? Perhaps.

Clearly the fun has gone out of your dining experience. The elves and I wonder why you persist. But putting on our best Miss Manners hat and gloves with matching pumps and handbag, let us suggest that an odd number of rolls served to an even number of diners solves a delicate problem of etiquette. Who wants to be the piggy who takes the last roll from the basket? An odd number of rolls allows an even number of people to take one and still gives the last roll-taker a choice; he or she is not stuck with the dry, pointy end of the French bread. Then one roll is left in the basket so other diners won't think you're the kind of people who also put sugar packets, butter, salsa, centerpieces, and other "free" things in your pockets before you leave.

The bread-slicing insult makes the loaf easier for servers to handle and distribute, facilitates portion control, and also keeps the bread from drying out too fast. The salt? The pepper? Full shakers are the restaurant equivalent of the little triangular folds that hotels put in the ends of the toilet paper. It eliminates all traces of those who have come before. It suggests they have set up everything fresh just for you and Mr./Ms. Other. I'm sure if you arrived at a table with near-empty shakers, you'd be complaining about the restaurant's negligence. Humidity can make salt and pepper cling together, especially if the shakers aren't often used. Diminutive shakers with teeny tiny holes add to the frustration. I'm sure the chef would say that the food's properly seasoned in the kitchen, and you shouldn't need salt anyway.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Operatic Gender Wars

Are there any operas with all-female choruses?
Next Article

East San Diego County has only one bike lane

So you can get out of town – from Santee to Tierrasanta
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader