Dear Matthew Alice: I notice that one sells anything but “fresh” Christmas trees. How fresh is “fresh”? Were these trees actually cut last weekend, or maybe last September? Does die FDA or FTC or anyone like that check Christmas tree “fresh”-ness the way they do fish? — Matt of La Mesa
Planning to sautee your tree in garlic butter and eat it? If not, forget the FDA. “Fresh” means not plastic. “Fresh” means probably cut in California or Oregon around Thanksgiving, at the earliest. “Fresh” is what we’d like our trees to be, so that’s what the sign says. Nobody’d stop if the sign said “stale.” “Fresh” means the branches are flexible and the needles don’t come out when you grasp a branch and pull your fingers along it to the end. the bureaucrats are not yet in the business of protecting us from our own bad tree choices. Luckily, buying one Is still a festive, holiday crap shoot.
Dear Matthew Alice: I notice that one sells anything but “fresh” Christmas trees. How fresh is “fresh”? Were these trees actually cut last weekend, or maybe last September? Does die FDA or FTC or anyone like that check Christmas tree “fresh”-ness the way they do fish? — Matt of La Mesa
Planning to sautee your tree in garlic butter and eat it? If not, forget the FDA. “Fresh” means not plastic. “Fresh” means probably cut in California or Oregon around Thanksgiving, at the earliest. “Fresh” is what we’d like our trees to be, so that’s what the sign says. Nobody’d stop if the sign said “stale.” “Fresh” means the branches are flexible and the needles don’t come out when you grasp a branch and pull your fingers along it to the end. the bureaucrats are not yet in the business of protecting us from our own bad tree choices. Luckily, buying one Is still a festive, holiday crap shoot.
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