Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

The point at which you are officially married

Once the “I do’s" are said

Mailorder clergy are just as legitimate as the Pope. - Image by Rick Geary
Mailorder clergy are just as legitimate as the Pope.

Dear Mr. Alice: I've always wondered at exactly what moment a couple is considered officially married. When the preacher says, “I now pronounce you man and wife” or when the license is signed or what? And what about all these ads for chapels that say they’ll perform a legal, “confidential” marriage without blood tests and licenses? — Been There, Done That, San Diego

Consider this scene in a local garage. The prospective bride and groom and Art, the guy who fixes their Camaro, are standing under the lift, tinkering with the muffler. “Hey, dude,” says Art, putting down his wrench, “you sure you wanna marry this babe?"

“Yup."

Sponsored
Sponsored

“Cool with you too, momma?”

“Neat-o!”

If they’ve done their homework properly, the dude and the babe are now officially married. There’s a little paperwork to take care of, but even without it, the state considers them hitched, assuming three things: the bride and groom have been living together, neither one is a parolee, and Art is either a clergyman in his spare time or has been deputized by the county clerk to perform the marriage. No blood test necessary (irrelevant, since they’ve been living together). No license application. No ugly bridesmaid dresses. It’s called a confidential or 4213 marriage (after the civil code section) — legal since the Gold Rush days and one of five types of licenses issued in California. According to the office of vital statistics in Sacramento, nearly half the marriages - performed these days are 4213s. And you’re living in the only state that offers a deal like this. A California exclusive.

The state civil code has about 60 pages of thou shalts and thou shan’ts for tying the nuptial knot. Or noose, if you prefer. They’re all based on the idea that California is a ceremonial state; the bride and groom must indicate, in whatever way they like, in the presence of someone legally authorized to perform the ceremony, that they are willing to marry the other person. Once the “I do’s" are said, they’re married. Any ritual or palaver before or after that is just for show.

California does not recognize common law marriage between state residents (though it will recognize as legal a common law marriage that occurred in any of the 12 states in which such unions are legal). And you can’t marry by phone or fax, as hundreds of people found out during the Gulf War, when soldiers, perhaps affected by the heat, decided to get married longdistance. The lovelorn grunts were referred to Michigan, one of only two states that allow people to reach out and marry someone.

As for who’s recognized as an official “clergyman,” the state makes no judgments. Mailorder clergy are just as legitimate as the Pope. The Universal Life Church in Modesto ordains every member as a minister (as long as your check doesn’t bounce, I think), so anybody with a piece of paper from the ULC can legally perform ceremonies. Quakers and other denominations that have no clergy are permitted to have couples state their own vows in front of the congregation. In some financially hard-pressed counties, the clerk deputizes senior citizen volunteers to perform marriages. It saves the county money and gives the seniors one more heart-warming activity to fill their retirement days. But a few California county clerks who are devoutly religious have refused to perform civil ceremonies at all.

Should all the creative possibilities make you so enthusiastic that perhaps you acquire an extra spouse or two along the way, you’ll be legally married to all of them — which is illegal. A criminal offense. (If any of your spouses married you knowing you hadn’t unloaded their predecessors, they are prosecutable too.) So there’s a chance you and all but your first spouse will be in the slam while the courts sort out who’s entitled to what. Oh, and the dude and the babe can’t be parolees or probationers because they aren’t permitted to enter into contracts (without special permission), and marriage in California is a legal contract.

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Trump names local supporter new Border Czar

Another Brick (Suit) in the Wall
Next Article

Now what can they do with Encinitas unstable cliffs?

Make the cliffs fall, put up more warnings, fine beachgoers?
Mailorder clergy are just as legitimate as the Pope. - Image by Rick Geary
Mailorder clergy are just as legitimate as the Pope.

Dear Mr. Alice: I've always wondered at exactly what moment a couple is considered officially married. When the preacher says, “I now pronounce you man and wife” or when the license is signed or what? And what about all these ads for chapels that say they’ll perform a legal, “confidential” marriage without blood tests and licenses? — Been There, Done That, San Diego

Consider this scene in a local garage. The prospective bride and groom and Art, the guy who fixes their Camaro, are standing under the lift, tinkering with the muffler. “Hey, dude,” says Art, putting down his wrench, “you sure you wanna marry this babe?"

“Yup."

Sponsored
Sponsored

“Cool with you too, momma?”

“Neat-o!”

If they’ve done their homework properly, the dude and the babe are now officially married. There’s a little paperwork to take care of, but even without it, the state considers them hitched, assuming three things: the bride and groom have been living together, neither one is a parolee, and Art is either a clergyman in his spare time or has been deputized by the county clerk to perform the marriage. No blood test necessary (irrelevant, since they’ve been living together). No license application. No ugly bridesmaid dresses. It’s called a confidential or 4213 marriage (after the civil code section) — legal since the Gold Rush days and one of five types of licenses issued in California. According to the office of vital statistics in Sacramento, nearly half the marriages - performed these days are 4213s. And you’re living in the only state that offers a deal like this. A California exclusive.

The state civil code has about 60 pages of thou shalts and thou shan’ts for tying the nuptial knot. Or noose, if you prefer. They’re all based on the idea that California is a ceremonial state; the bride and groom must indicate, in whatever way they like, in the presence of someone legally authorized to perform the ceremony, that they are willing to marry the other person. Once the “I do’s" are said, they’re married. Any ritual or palaver before or after that is just for show.

California does not recognize common law marriage between state residents (though it will recognize as legal a common law marriage that occurred in any of the 12 states in which such unions are legal). And you can’t marry by phone or fax, as hundreds of people found out during the Gulf War, when soldiers, perhaps affected by the heat, decided to get married longdistance. The lovelorn grunts were referred to Michigan, one of only two states that allow people to reach out and marry someone.

As for who’s recognized as an official “clergyman,” the state makes no judgments. Mailorder clergy are just as legitimate as the Pope. The Universal Life Church in Modesto ordains every member as a minister (as long as your check doesn’t bounce, I think), so anybody with a piece of paper from the ULC can legally perform ceremonies. Quakers and other denominations that have no clergy are permitted to have couples state their own vows in front of the congregation. In some financially hard-pressed counties, the clerk deputizes senior citizen volunteers to perform marriages. It saves the county money and gives the seniors one more heart-warming activity to fill their retirement days. But a few California county clerks who are devoutly religious have refused to perform civil ceremonies at all.

Should all the creative possibilities make you so enthusiastic that perhaps you acquire an extra spouse or two along the way, you’ll be legally married to all of them — which is illegal. A criminal offense. (If any of your spouses married you knowing you hadn’t unloaded their predecessors, they are prosecutable too.) So there’s a chance you and all but your first spouse will be in the slam while the courts sort out who’s entitled to what. Oh, and the dude and the babe can’t be parolees or probationers because they aren’t permitted to enter into contracts (without special permission), and marriage in California is a legal contract.

Comments
Sponsored

The latest copy of the Reader

Please enjoy this clickable Reader flipbook. Linked text and ads are flash-highlighted in blue for your convenience. To enhance your viewing, please open full screen mode by clicking the icon on the far right of the black flipbook toolbar.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Previous article

Escondido planners nix office building switch to apartments

Not enough open space, not enough closets for Hickory Street plans
Next Article

Classical Classical at The San Diego Symphony Orchestra

A concert I didn't know I needed
Comments
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

This Week’s Reader This Week’s Reader