Don’t let the stunning, domed IMAX theater–worthy nature cinematography that opens the picture fool you. After an accident fells kayaking bird-watcher Fernando (Paul Hamy) and writer-director João Pedro Rodrigues’s bulletproof surrealism kicks in, some viewers will no doubt find themselves regretting their evening’s choice of entertainment. According to the press notes, "This enigmatic and surrealist survival story reimagines the legend of Saint Anthony of Padua through a queer lens.” If you say so. A pair of Chinese Pilgrims into extreme bondage rescue our hero and before it’s over there’s a patented Strand Releasing homoerotic softcore romp, this one on a sandy beach. Call it an exercise in staring at a screen for two hours that couldn’t have ended soon enough. (2017) — Scott Marks
This movie is not currently in theaters.