With but 2 features to their credit (am I the only one who’s never heard of The Last Romantic or Band of Robbers) the Nee Brothers, Aaron and Adam, convinced four of Hollywood’s biggest names (Bullock, Tatum, Pitt, and Harry Potter) to star in what is best described as Fabio romances a stone in the Temple of Doom. Bullock’s latest had all the makings of a screwball comedy: a successful romance novelist (Sandra Bullock) and her dumb blonde cover model (Channing Tatum) embark on the adventure of a lifetime to find a priceless crown in the titular locale. While on a book tour, Bullock is kidnapped by a billionaire madman (Potter). As the CIA operative hired to track down the author, Brad Pitt ignites the screen like a blowtorch reducing whatever chemistry Bullock and Tatum had going between them to that of a flickering Bic. In you can get through the cliches — filmmakers should hereby be fined for compressed telephoto shots of actors running towards the camera in slo-mo to escape an explosion — Pitt’s all-too-brief participation, complete with an assurance that if he doesn’t rescue our star in 48 hours the next kidnapping is free, is what separates this from a complete waste of time. (2022) — Scott Marks
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