Looking to avoid spoilers? S/he (either Helen Mirren or Ian McKellen) joins a senior dating service under an assumed name, hoping to track down the person who did them wrong sixty years ago. Said person is also hiding behind an alias. But how did they know to join that particular website and what name to search for? More fog: how did McKellan know that the pigeon they were setting up for a fall was going to crack a Putin joke in front of the Russain investors, thus doubling his take? And that’s just in the first ten minutes. Jeffrey Hatcher’s script, from a novel by Nicholas Searle, has more holes than a Swiss cheese golf course. Director Bill Condon (Dreamgirls, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Parts 1 & 2) is a terrible liar, ill-possessed in spades when it comes to the sleight of hand needed to misdirect the viewer. Truth be told, where this one was headed was tipped in the trailer, give or take a side trip to Berlin to clear up backstory and confirm (or deny) Nazi heritage. Wait for Britbox. (2019) — Scott Marks
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