If you’re reading this, odds are that you’re curious about the answer to the question, “What would happen if they released the full fury of Nicolas Cage’s acting insanity storm into a Middle Ages scenario full of knights and witches and magic Jesus books?” Alas, that question seems doomed to go unanswered. Cage stumbles through with barely a freakout, leaving sidekick Ron Perlman to have all the fun as the two escort an accused witch to a mysterious abbey. Hokum ensues. (2011) — Matthew Lickona
This movie is not currently in theaters.