"A Clive Cussler Dirk Pitt Adventure," trumpet the opening credits. Those are of course two separate people, Clive Cussler being the original novelist, and Dirk Pitt (wham! bam!) being his swashbuckling hero, who, along with his comical sidekick Al Giordino, is hunting a treasure-laden Civil War ironclad up the Niger River. Yes, indeedy. (Clues will be found in primitive "cave paintings" dating back almost a century and a half.) That quest happens to converge with the quest of a doctor from WHO who is tracking the source of an epidemic in Mali, and who happens to be Penelope Cruz. Total balderdash, but much more baldness than dash. With Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Lambert Wilson, and William H. Macy; directed by Breck Eisner. (2005) — Duncan Shepherd
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