I’m all for improving a bad movie, but why remake matters worse? A bloody stool joke gets things rolling. The mechanical whir of the elongating power recliner promised somatic comfort, while my dampened spirits prepared to be bored over again. Director Rob Greenberg’s first big-screen undertaking is being marketed as a “fresh take” on the “iconic” 1987 romantic comedy of the same name. In point of fact, the Garry Marshall film that introduced Goldie to Kurt is more cultish stinker than celluloid benchmark. As for freshness, a ten year supply of chlorophyll and retsyn couldn’t purify plot devices as old as role-reversal — the part of the carpenter is played by Anna Faris, with the role of billionaire loafer going to Eugenio Derbez — or the one disease recommended most by network dramatists, amnesia. The stars are capable of treading just so much water before drowning in the wake of a leaden script. And what a waste of Swoosie Kurtz! (2018) — Scott Marks
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