Instantaneously boring character chemistry: trucker Sylvester Stallone wants to become pals with the snotty son he has never known, starting on graduation day at military grammar school: "Sir, you're going to be a victim of cholesterol poisoning," and so on. There's also the boy's hospitalized mother (why does she suddenly trust her ex-husband to have custody of the boy? why, if she holds the man in such esteem, has she always intercepted and hidden his letters to the boy? why, for that matter, did the two of them ever split up in the first place?), and there's a rich and powerful grandfather who wants to have custody himself, and will get it unless Stallone can win the arm-wrestling tournament in Las Vegas. This event bears as much resemblance to the actual sport as does the boxing in the Rockies: seesawing marathons against mountainous opponents, and with moratoriums on the laws of physics. David Mendenhall, Susan Blakely, Robert Loggia; directed by Menahem Golan. (1987) — Duncan Shepherd
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