When they’re not pissing out forest fires, a group of misogynistic oafs sit around listening to heavy metal while debating the intellectual capacity of the bar tramps who agree to sleep with them. The only one who seems to be genuinely happily married is retired firefighter Jeff Bridges. Bridges gets to chaw his mushmouth while his little woman, played by Andie MacDowell, emerges from the background long enough to add, “It’s not easy to share your man with a fire.” Miles Teller does double-duty as the drug-addicted smokejumper who looks to firefighting as his rehab. (His biggest acting challenge was bleaching his eyebrows.) In the eyes of the simpleton screenwriters, those who express rage over a rotten film such as this must be pyromaniacs. Only you can prevent Hollywood from cashing in on these false heroics. Avoid this at all costs. With both Josh Brolin and Jennifer Connelly trying way too hard; Joseph Kosinski directs. (2017) — Scott Marks
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