Lapsed cultist Geppetto (Michael Shannon), and vacationing state trooper Jiminy (Joel Edgerton) kidnap Pinocchio (in this case an immaculately conceived nine-year-old starchild played by Jaeden Lieberher) and race to reunite the lad with the Blue Fairy (Kirsten Dunst) and his mother ship. Is it really a good idea to leave the Messiah unattended in the backseat of a Chevelle while you stop at a filling station for dinner? And how does a cop at a roadblock not notice the bloody shoulder of the freshly winged driver before letting him pass? With every turn, it gets dumber and dumber, until there’s nowhere left to go but Tomorrowland by way of E.T. Shannon, generally known for giving audiences something new to look at, flashes two expressions throughout: pained and more pained. A tremendous letdown from director Jeff Nichols’s previous film, the critically acclaimed Mud, which itself was a major step down from his personal best, Take Shelter. (2016) — Scott Marks
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