That would be the Archangel Michael, if you please. The one who battled Lucifer ("That was a long time ago"). The one who invented, so he claims, the concept of standing in line. The beer-bellied, crotch-scratching one who smokes cigarettes but nonetheless smells "like cookies." The one who now, losing feathers from his wings at an accelerating rate, is on his twenty-sixth and final tour of duty on Earth, with the primary mission of reawakening the "heart" inside a tabloid reporter, and the extra-credit assignment of resurrecting a small dog called Sparky after the animal is run over by a truck. A bowl of mush served up by Nora (The Big Sap) Ephron, to the accompaniment of a pop-song playlist as long as your arm. With John Travolta, William Hurt, Andie MacDowell, Robert Pastorelli, Bob Hoskins. (1996) — Duncan Shepherd
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