Give Hollywood enough time (and enough sequel money) and they’ll ruin anything. The Buzz Lightyear character came to be a household name thanks to four installments of Toy Story. The delusional doll that thought he was the character upon which he is based now has an origin story to call his own. If what the opening crawl says is true, and this is the film that inspired Andy’s purchase of the doll that gave rise to the dealership, that makes this the first animated found footage origin story! I’ll wait for the applause to die down before telling you it stinks. What is the film’s target audience? Without a crutch of nostalgia to support them, adults will spend most of the time staring at their phones. Teenagers have been bludgeoned enough by action tropes to marvel over anything on display here. Toddlers in the crowd have little to tap into amid the interplanetary darkness save a mechanical cat named SOX, the plush variation of which is yours for $20 at Target®. The twitterverse erupted when news hit that Chris Evans, not Tim Allen, was hired to voice the space ranger. Was Allen’s snub due to his political leanings or was his replacement based on what’s best for the character? In an effort to explain, I’ll type slowly. Allen voiced a goofy doll. Evans voiced the solemn fictional character upon which the doll is based. Judging by the opening weekend take, we’re looking at a disaster of Cars 3 proportion. (2022) — Scott Marks
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