Cue the TV announcer: “A small town family, deep in denial, is rocked to find a lesbian among them in Gidget Goes Sappho, or ‘Who ordered the Katherine Heigl Gay Marriage project?’” It starts with a strong supporting cast reciting reasonably authentic dialog, but this isn’t the first time Mary Agnes Donoghue (Veronica Guerin, Beaches) will have beached an audience. Before it’s over, not one conceivable contrivance short of amnesia or sudden death is left unturned. Why leave home when the DVR can store dozens of well-intentioned cable movies that turn on the stunning realization that gay people are just like normal people? The film ends with a counterfeit epiphany — “Happy people do not have dead grass” — that’s rivaled only by the integrity of the Photoshopped snapshot that accompanies the closing credits. It’s one thing for investors wanting to buy into Heigl’s dream, but did they have to take Tom Wilkinson down with then? With Alexis Bledel as the love interest and Grace Gummer as the other daughter mom didn’t love best. (2015) — Scott Marks
This movie is not currently in theaters.