The definition of insanity is watching another sequel with “Kong” and/or “Godzilla” in its title and expecting different results. Godzilla vs. Kong is a risk-free retread of Jurassic proportions. Wanted: big-name actors with a track record. Little to no acting required. Huge payday. Oscar nominations not a must. That’s what the casting call in Variety must have read, for how else would they persuade Hall and Skarsgård to star, or get Demián Bichir to play the corporate bad guy who dreams up the robotic end-all to all monsters, the telepathically controlled Mechagodzilla? This isn’t a movie, it’s a product strung together off the backs of merchandise that came before it. (A Japanese stuntman in a latex costume designed with one facial expression displayed more personality than this CG Godzilla.) Have we gone so completely “woke” as to fear stepping on the toes of imaginary monsters, such that these giant creatures of mass destruction are now referred to as Titans? No matter how they spin it, this is a monster movie. (And what’s with the character design gone awry? They’re drawn together, if not to scale. The difference in size is written off as, “He’s gotten too big over time.” Either that or Kong is sporting a pair of elevator paws.) These aren’t Titans so much as they are mass murderers being marketed as superheroes. All that and they got the billing wrong. Kong deserved better and so do we. (2021) — Scott Marks
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