This tortuous revenge tale, the filmmaking debut of stage director Des McAnuff, is an adaptation of one of Balzac's better-known novels, but it would seem that the umbrella title of his oeuvre -- la Comédie Humaine -- has been interpreted a little lopsidedly, with the stress on literal comedy at the expense of the human. No doubt the extravagances of the Romantic novel are often difficult to take seriously, but that does not convert them into a dependable source of humor, especially rompish humor. And any inclination here to smile or to snicker is snuffed out ahead of time by the brutal elbow-in-the-ribs music of Simon Boswell. It is the rough equivalent of a bafflingly overamplified laugh track. There are yards and yards of plot with which to tangle, and the direction is energetic if not necessarily effective, and the improbable moonlighting occupation of the titular plain old maid (Jessica Lange sans cosmetics), costumiére for a vaudeville show, allows McAnuff to fall back now and again to the nostalgic sanctuary of the footlights. At the same time, this setting allows Elisabeth Shue, as the resident siren, to show that in addition to a horrible actress, she is a horrible singer as well. And although those are the foremost things she shows, it would be a serious oversight to neglect to mention that she also shows her hindmost things. Her seat cushions. Twice. For laughs. Bob Hoskins, Kelly MacDonald, Aden Young, Hugh Laurie. (1998) — Duncan Shepherd
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