Sylvester Stallone portrays a member of the L.A.P.D. Zombie Squad -- whatever that is -- named Cobretti, hence Cobra. (His given name is disclosed, with some boyish abashment, to be Marion -- just like John Wayne's real one, although somehow less likely to have been bestowed by Italian parents than by Irish.) His gun is a pearl-handled automatic emblazoned with a cobra's head, and he carries it, in full view, tucked in the front of his pants. These are never anything but blue jeans, topped by knee-length overcoat or windbreaker with the cuffs turned up, and he always has a match stick in the corner of his mouth and his beard at a constant two-day growth. He prefers mirrored sunglasses and black gloves, though he sometimes removes these when indoors. His personalized license plate reads "AWSOM 50." The case that occupies him for the duration of the movie, after an unrelated prologue about a supermarket terrorist, is that of a patternless serial murderer known to the media as The Night Slasher. This proves to be the collective name of a whole army of Manson-esque devil cultists, numerous enough to permit the star to come within a minor massacre of the kill-count in RAMBO. "I don't want to be a hero," he had protested modestly when bucking for the assignment. "I just want to get involved." The least you can say for Stallone is that he carries all this off without seeming to be embarrassed. The anything-more-than-least you can say is that he ought to be. Directed by George P. Cosmatos. (1986) — Duncan Shepherd
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