Competition for Twilight, assimilated vampires who protect the status quo by reducing their blood intake to moderate sips, precisely the cultural subgroup to embrace the misfit teen. (There are also bad, gluttonous vampires known as Vampaneze: “Vampires suck. Vampaneze rule.”) Competition, sure, but weak competition, self-consciously jokey, storybooky, winky. With Chris Massoglia, John C. Reilly, Josh Hutcherson, Jessica Carlson, Ken Watanabe, Salma Hayek, and Willem Dafoe; directed by Paul Weitz. (2009) — Duncan Shepherd
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