Brad Pitt hinted recently that he may be making an early exit from acting. If that means no more Bullet Trains — easily the wormiest script he’s hitched his star to since Mr. and Mrs. Smith — I’ll hold the door for him. Pitt stars as a career hitman suddenly overcome by conscience and a desire to leave his gun at home. What appeared to be an easy task soon finds him trapped inside a high-speed tin can with no exit plan. If you want a little plot with your brainless bloodshed, you’ve come to the right place. This thing is so hell bent on violence, there’s even a fistfight in the production company logo that opens the show. Director David Leitch’s (Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Deadpool 2) layered approach to exposition entails grinding the action to a halt and abruptly cutting away to a televised report of a poisonous snake that will later become a lethal traveling companion for the 5 killers aboard the titular choo choo. What happens when stunt doubles write and direct? Leitch once “understudied” Pitt and when it comes directing the only thing that flies faster than a speeding bullet is expository dialogue. (2022) — Scott Marks
This movie is not currently in theaters.