Four reasons to take a child to see A Wrinkle in Time: 1. They display a keen interest in physics. 2. They’ve read the book. 3. They don’t frighten easily. 4. You hate them. More thought went into Disney’s United Colors of Benetton approach to casting than to hammering out a cohesive throughline in the ever-shifting narrative. “Visionary” director Ava DuVernay’s concept of getting inside a character’s mind translates into keeping the camera so close that Tarzan could pluck a nostril hair and swing across the screen. And while I’m generally a sucker for imaginative art direction, the Technicolor gargle of overflorid hues on display here barely sticks to the screen, let alone to the memory. Surely there must be something positive to say about the production, but thoughts of an Attack of the 50-foot Oprah sequel notwithstanding, calling this an incomprehensible mess would be a compliment. Add to this the frustration brought on by sound effects that drown out crucial dialog passages, and the only thing you’ll take away from the experience is a wrinkle in your ass. (2018) — Scott Marks
This movie is not currently in theaters.