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Top Dozen Web Celebs To Watch For in 2010
TOP 12 WEB CELEBS TO WATCH FOR IN 2010
I frankly don’t know how the world ever got by before the internet. Seriously. Over the past few years, I’ve been so hardwired to the web that I swear I dream in html.
So much of my time is spent clicking --- my left hand can barely hold onto a pencil, while my right hand can crush a Volkswagen ---
In the year or so since we set up www.myspace.com/sandiegoreadermusic, and since launching the new website and blog around two years ago, a lot of amazing online video auteurs have come to our attention.
Here are a dozen up-n-coming webheads that we think are the TOP 12 WEB CELEBS TO WATCH FOR IN 2010…………………
12) MICHAEL TIERNAN
“I’ve been toying around with live internet broadcasting from my home,” says singer/songwriter Michael Tiernan. “In the past couple of months, my audience has really begun to grow.” Tiernan’s “interactive internet concerts” stream live from his laptop computer every Friday at noon on www.tiernantunes.tv.
“I usually perform three or four songs, all focused around a certain topic or theme,” says Tiernan. “Viewers aren’t just viewers, either. They are participants, even more so than at a club show…they can enter chat sessions, make requests, and discuss the [musical] theme.” Tiernan also sometimes shows photos and slides, as well as polling viewers on a variety of topics, not necessarily musical. “It usually turns out to be part talk show, part concert.”
“So far, the most amazing experience I’ve had broadcasting is after my daughter was born… [November ‘08]. I was playing a brand new song I wrote for her. In the middle of the song, my wife brought the baby into the room after a nap, and I sang the song to her, tears in my eyes. I received tons of feedback after. There were about fifty people watching from all over the world, and many of them wrote me that it was one of the most touching things they’d ever seen. I had a lot of them crying, too.”
His internet audience can range from a dozen people to around a hundred. “But compare that with getting in your car, filling up the tank, and driving up to
Michael Tiernan’s songs “Better Life” and “Distractions” were featured on MTV’s Real World earlier this year. In 2007, his song “I’m Ready” was licensed for an episode of the ABC TV series Men In Trees. “It basically just came out of the blue,” he says. “When I got the call, they were ready to send the contract.” He pocketed a $1,000 fee. “Residuals will depend on frequency of repeats and hopefully syndication.”
The program placement was Tiernan’s first network TV sale, though he says he previously licensed his music for exercise videos. “I was hoping the Men In Trees deal would include a date with Ann Heche, [who plays] the main character, but no dice. I'm actually not sure what side of the [bi-sexual] fence she's on these days anyhow.”
Tiernan also won the 2007 Songwriter of the Year Award from the Pacific Songwriting Competition. “I was actually the runner-up,” says Tiernan, “but when the actual winner, from
11) SCOTT WILSON
Scott Wilson’s video for his song “Too Tired” matches the tune with a hand-animated film by Takeuchi Taijin, “Stop Motion With Wolf and Pig.” The video, uploaded to YouTube in April, uses 1,300 sequentially-shot photographic prints which roll out across a room and all its furniture, in an approximation of the frames-per-second method used to create vintage cartoons. In early July,
“I did a search on the Pen Story,” says
After several people posted comments noting the similarities between the Pen Story and the Wilson/Taijin video,
“I still have not heard from Takeuchi yet, so I don’t know what he thinks of all this,” says
Wilson also points out similarities between the 2005 video for his song “Coffeehouse 101,” which featured around 50 local stars, each lip-synching a line, with a Nickelback video around two years later using an identical format and cadence, albeit with more famous guests, for their tune “Rockstar.”
“I look at it as a strange cosmic joke,” says
“Everybody's wet dream/Save it for the big scene
It's headed for the big screen…Doesn't make a difference to me.”
“Independent Artists Company is a website that features indie musicians, and has a number of radio stations on the site,” says
The song seems to spin a tale not unlike the true-life stories of media mega-messes Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and Britney Spears.
“I was looking at a picture of Paris Hilton in the back of a police car crying, and I know that inspires laughter in a lot of people, but for some reason I felt really sorry for her.”
Says
Scott Wilson “Too Tired” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOxpgatyERs
Pen Story - http://www.youtube.com/user/PENStory
“Coffeehouse 101” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VnoQyRUf9A
http://www.myspace.com/metapunk
10) ALEXANDRA DEMATTIA
If, like me, you’ve been around since the Stone’s age, then – like me – you probably can’t tell a Demi Lovato from Miranda Cosgrove from Selena Gomez from Aly from AJ from Taylor Momsen (hey, wasn’t she Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch movie?). Not even if you – like me, just now – do Google searches on ‘tween pop stars, Disney Channel, etc.
Now the Runaways, Suzi Quatro, Cherie Currie, Louise Goffin, Annabelle from Bow Wow Wow, Robin “Times Square” Johnson, THOSE teen girls could rock a video --- but, hey, my sideburns are probably older than a lot of the people reading this blog ------
Anyway, soon-to-be 13 year-old Alexandra DeMattia is an aspiring pop tart from
“I have worked with vocal coaches since kindergarten,” says DeMattia, who – besides serving on the Student Council since the 3rd Grade and doing All- Star Cheerleading at Star Athletics for six years - has also been involved with local theatre and undergone dance and acting training.
DeMattia has a vaguely ethnic Mila Kunis look, though she tends to rockout more like her idol, Hannah Montana. Or rather Miley Cyrus. Wait – (Google) – okay, Miley Cyrus. Wait, as in Billy RAY Cyrus?!?! Billy Achy Breaky Heart Cyrus?
“I would love to record a song with Miley Cyrus,” says DeMattia. “I would love to do a remake of Miley’s Hit Song ‘See You Again’ with her. That is my favorite, song and I think it would rock.”
DeMattia’s music vids – full of energetic dancing and pantomime – are surprisingly engaging and professionally shot and edited, looking for all the world just like (or better than) the KidVids I’ve caught on my way from CSI shows (real and fake) to History’s Mysteries, the SyFy channel, VH1, IFC, BBC America, and upper dial reruns of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Rod Serling’s Night Gallery.
(Really, Billy Ray Cyrus, huh? AND he’s on her TV SHOW?! Like, with the mullet? --- Google Images --- wow, that’s even WORSE! He looks like somebody slapped one side of his head with a paint-covered scuba flipper)
DeMattia’s debut four-song EP, recorded in L.A. in March 2009, features her YouTube hit “Cool Without You” and was recently launched on iTunes ---- the other three songs are “Snapshot,” “Love the Hype,” and “Telephone.”
“I worked closely with a producer on the music for the tracks,” says DeMattia. “We came up with ideas together…I recently started exploring songwriting. Being creative is one of my favorite aspects of music.”
In addition, she says “I am involved in re-designing and doing the cover artwork. I like being involved in all the creative aspects of my career…the music videos I make for fun on YouTube are edited, directed, and filmed by me [and] I do my own web show filming, producing, and editing.”
Indeed, her slickly presented MySpace page and other online hangouts are so professional and promotional, and filled with loving fan testimonials, that you’d swear she’s already got her own show/movie/album/DVD/tour/book/comic/clothing/fragrance/ringtone/themepark/cult/breakfast cereal tied into the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon.
And, by the end of 2010, she probably will.
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/alexandrademattia
Twitter: http://twitter.com/AlexandraDe13
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alexand...
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/fabmovies...
9) TOM CARROLL
“I’m an unabashed Barack Obama fan,” says local artist/songwriter Tom Carroll of entering the “Obama in 30 Seconds” in the short film competition obamain30seconds.org. His short -- Pie in The Sky -- opens with huge shadows cast across a landscape by vast circular shapes in the sky. A narrator intones “Is it pie in the sky for government to be both transparent and responsible? Is it pie in the sky that one man’s vision could inspire a new politics based on hope rather than fear? Is it pie in the sky for a black American to attain the highest office in the land?”
“The final seconds take place in
Carroll is also behind the stage production "I Survived the Bush Administration (and All I Got Was This $%^&@ T-Shirt!)," a musical variety revue co-created with Four Eyes guitarist Mark DeCerbo and others. He says the show is about “One disenfranchised neo-conservative with a gun for a nose, two steadfast women at opposite ends of the political spectrum, a three-headed general, a salsa-dancing terrorist, and a conflicted peacenik, all striving to validate their lives and work in the months leading up to the 2008 Presidential election.”
“It has six comedy sketches, as well as eleven original songs,” says Carroll. “After the first song, actors jump out onstage and launch wadded-up T-Shirts into the audience, like they do at sporting events, with I Survived The Bush Administration on the front, plus And All I Got Was This $%^@ T-Shirt! on the back.”
The show’s original songs include “The Road to Utopia” (“We've got the money now/No Democrats around to slow us down”), “The Terrorism Cha-Cha” (“My name is Bin Laden/Am I alive or dead/I could be lying in a crater/Or doin’ Cha-Cha in bed”), and “It Hurts When the Congress Thinks You’re Nuts.”
Is Carroll worried about attracting unwanted attention from the government?
“While there’s always the possibility that some agency of the government might give me a hard time,” he says, “it’s for that reason that plays like ‘I Survived…’ should be written and performed. We should always be vigilant in how our freedoms are being restricted, especially the freedom of speech and expression.”
Obama Pie Video: http://www.myspace.com/isurvivedthebushadministration
http://obamain30seconds.org/vote/?v=view-1391-hV1s0H
8) MONO MONO
“I bring exploding foam, snow machines, confetti cannons, pinatas and remote control space ships,” says Mono Mono’s one-man bandmember Jeffrey Beringer of his “interactive, inflatable stage show.” Interactive? “The lights and other special effects are operated by radio control, and I give control boxes to the audience,” he says. “In my show, you touch and are touched. I dress in drag and sit on your lap, and you will suck and touch my fake boobies and scream. You will blow my clothes off with my leaf blower and I will run naked through the venue.”
Okay. Inflatable? “I put on an inflatable Sumo costume and blow up like a huge, obese marshmallow man, and [audiences] squeeze, hug, grind, hump and bounce me,” he says.
“I have an arsenal of inflatable monkeys, sex dolls and blow-up toys…Sometimes [audiences] jump on my toys and destroy them. I place balloons into the crowd, they hold them on their lap, and we jump on each other, exploding the balloons.” Musically, he says “I have help from my iPod and my computer…The vocals are live, and the music and sound effects have been electronically programmed. I use Reason and Ableton Live loop-sequencer programs.”
His prop-heavy show can cause problems. “I had a major fight with the stage manager and engineers at the House of Blues,” he says. “Before I walked onstage, they said [HOB] was ‘not for clowns’ and that they didn’t have sufficient staff to clean up streamers or confetti…I had to do an extremely limited show. At the end, a huge box of streamers somehow accidentally slipped into the crowd and they went wild, making a huge mess. Ooops!”
“I had a couple of instances where the managers of the venue were absolutely horrified when they witnessed their clean venues be transformed into a massive hurricane of confetti, streamers and foam. Of course, drink sales are usually high, and cleanup is easy and quick if you have a big broom, so I almost always get asked back. At present, my show is completely soft, stainless, and dry, or at the very least it evaporates quickly. Sometimes things get a little rowdy, but I have never had a notable injury to report.
Beringer says he finally reached a point as an artist where “the same old same old concert experience just didn't cut it for me anymore. I was tired of vague, cliche lyrics that I don't understand, or don't care to. I was tired of performers who get on stage and dress like sh-t and think that the mere fact that they play guitar or sing is going to hold my interest. I wanted more, and I know my audiences wanted more. They wanted crazier, they wanted wilder, they wanted a show that was as interesting to see as it is to listen to. Something that brings them to the next level.”
Mono Mono shows are dubbed "Debauchery, Desmadre." “It’s a sonic and visual orgy that appeals not only to the ears, but to all of the senses, including touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. The music is electronic and danceable. The subject matter is taboo, interesting and instantly accessible. Pansexuality. Promiscuity. Profanity. Gender Bending. Breaking rules. Pushing limits. Sacrificing Virgins. Good and Evil. Extraterrestrial Life, etc. etc. etc.”
The goal, says Beringer, is to eliminate the barrier between performer and spectator. “I am the spark, and the audience the fire...but we are all performers and we are all spectators. In my show you touch and are touched. You watch and are watched. You throw things and destroy things. You scream, you dance wildly, you sweat. We all entertain each other, we lose our preconceptions and inhibitions, and enter a state of pure consciousness where anything is possible.”
According to Beringer, “Over twenty of my inflatable monkeys have been kidnapped at shows…Now they appear in photos all over MySpace.” I highly recommend any and all of his insane online videos - you'll feel like you're on LSD, without the comedown!
www.myspace.com/jeffreyberinger
7) KING KRUK
“As a singer, I sound like Elvis Presley, no matter how hard I try not to,” says
“The Elvis show happened from a karaoke contest in Krakow [around 2004],” says Kruk, who was teaching English in
Though popular, Kruk says Poles didn’t pay much for his Elvis act.
“The most I got was 200 Polish zloty for a 45-minute gig. That was around $70
Before settling in
“Elvis shows up as a time-traveling deus ex machina, to juxtapose the impact of fame and genius. I was paid $1500 a week, plus $600 weekly per diem for food and hotels.”
Comedian Steve Martin authored the play but didn’t appear in it. “He was around for rehearsals and for some shows, though,” says Kruk. “He had the cast over for dinner when the tour stopped in
Earlier this year, Kruk emailed to report “I placed fourth at Pechanga’s Ultimate Elvis Tribute contest, but then I rallied and won first place at the [Del Mar] Fair, beating the second and third place contestants from Pechanga. One of the three male judges at Pechanga obviously didn’t like me, as he consistently scored me ten points lower than the other two.”
The Pechanga competition is part of a national yearly contest run by the Presley estate with a $25,000 top prize, while the Fair’s one-off contest paid Kruk $1,000 for his win. “My act at the Fair was a little different. At Ultimate, you have to be more true to what Elvis would have performed wearing a specific stage outfit. For example, if you wear an Aloha From Hawaii Eagle jumpsuit, you can’t perform songs he didn’t do during that era. At the Fair, you have a little more freedom, so I could wear the fringe jumpsuit from the ‘70s and still sing songs from the ‘50s and ‘60s.”
Both Elvis contests attracted impersonators from all over the country, as well as L.A. Elvis George Thomas (third place in
Now that Kruk has achieved championship cred, he’s hoping gigs – and the attendant paycheck - will increase. “I can now say I’m the best in southern
Earlier this year (late July), Kruk competed at the next Ultimate Elvis elimination at
June 21 Ultimate Elvis Contest at Pechanga - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlgNxPOwjyo
6) THE BUGS
“I wrote the song when he was on that Rock Star Supernova show,” says David Swain of the Bugs about the inspiration behind “Dave Navarro’s Goatee F-cking Sucks.”
“He used to be in Jane’s Addiction/Now he’s on TV trying to earn a buck
He was so much cooler when he was on drugs/Dave Navarro’s goatee f-cking sucks”
“All that makeup and jewelry,” says Swain, “what a f-cking jerk. Where the hell is he getting off, wearing all that crap? He’s so full of himself, anyone with any soul would wanna tell him to go f-ck himself.”
The problem may be with the band’s video, which features around two dozen huge photographs of Navarro on a screen behind the group as they mock his facial hair. “I keep waiting to hear from his attorney about the video,” says Swain. “I’m sure they wouldn't appreciate us using his pictures without consent. If they do email me, I’m printing it in the insert of the next album.”
With tours booked around
The band’s other songs (most with accompanying homemade videos) include “No More Emo Haircuts,” “Meth On My Mind,” “Lesbo Lesbo,” “Email From a She-Male” (also a funny video), and “I Wish I Was A Mexican” (“Kicking back after work/drinking a Bud/take off my shirt….”)
“I get called racist sometimes. Not sure why. I’m one of the most liberal persons there is…white people are usually the most disrespectful.”
Clocking in at around two minutes each, the songs will appear on the Bugs’ upcoming Cabana Records seven inch vinyl album. “Yeah, that’s right, the whole album fits on a seven inch. And there's still room for another song or two!”
Video – Dave Navarro’s Goatee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juf3yFscMFo
The Bugs/Dangerous Dave on MySpace
5) THE WRONG TROUSERS
All in their late teens or early ‘20s, the Wrong Trousers can often be found weekends at
“On our best days at
Mackenzie Leighton (from
“We formed in 2006 when we met in a performing arts program at Coronado High school called Coronado School of the Arts, AKA Coosa,” says Little (born in Fort Collins, Colorado). “One day, Mack and Joseph were jamming on a fiddle tune called Blackberry Blossom and I joined in. After that we tried covering Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots by The Flaming Lips and we automatically clicked.
The band’s setlist is evenly split between offbeat originals and covers of acts like the Traveling Wilburys and Joanna Newsom. “Mostly, we choose songs that we think will sound cool with our instrumentation. Our most popular cover to date is Such Great Heights by the Postal Service,” according to Little. “It won us our
The Wrong Trousers recorded a CD with local jazz mainstay Peter Sprague, who they met while recording tracks for a mutual friend at his studio. Two original songs from those sessions posted on MySpace have already been played over 20,000 times.
“We actually get stopped in the streets of
“There will be the occasional person who can't stand my voice and them feel the need to tell me to never sing again. It's all been very interesting to take in.”
The band is named after a famous award-winning clay-animated Wallace and Gromit short, by the later-creator of the movies Chicken Run and Curse of the Were-Rabbit. “A lot of people recognize the Wallace and Gromit reference, and they deem us 'really cool nerds' for it,” says Little. “We take what we can get.”
YouTube clip – video killed the radio star
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSUX9byu6NY
http://www.myspace.com/thewrongtrousers
"Calvin" (Melodica solo written by Peter Sprague)
"Such Great Heights" (Postal Service cover)
"Handle With Care" (Travelling Wilburys cover)
4) HAPPY RON HILL
As of 2009, Happy Ron Hill had done over 1000 open mic performance at the Blarney Stone Pub. “I started in 1997 and, believe it or not, poetry open mics are the most borderline violent. I’ve really thought people were going to come to blows over poems. Last year in
The worst local open mic contestant he’s seen calls himself the Wolf. “This guy showed up for years at Hot Monkey Love and would put on a CD of random industrial music, with him saying ‘I am Luke Skywalker, I am Darth Vader, you must die’ and flailing around stage with his light saber. It was interesting for thirty seconds, and then it got real uncomfortable.”
As for his own most offbeat open mic gig, he says “I was on stage at Fannie’s [10/08/2005], and I kept feeling that something was whizzing by my head. Then I heard this voice saying ‘Mom, quit throwing your tampons!’ The club crew picked up numerous tampons as I was getting offstage, and I put them in my hat. Fortunately, they weren’t used, and nobody was injured.”
“It kind of reminded me of how people used to throw jelly beans at the Beatles, and then the Beatles complained that they were hard and they hurt.”
As for his most offbeat open mic appearance, he says “I was at Harbin Hot Springs for a retreat thing, and they had a talent night, so I performed in the nude, wearing only my hat, in front of a hundred mostly-naked people. I did my classic song Boy Toy, which includes the line ‘don't touch/don't touch me there." Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R5GnxKUAwc to checkout the song in performance context.
“Performing is really about facing your deepest fears. Most people have dreams about singing naked in public. I used to too and so I figured to finally let go of my final fears regarding performing I should just go ahead and perform naked somewhere.”
Last year, Hill attended the “How Music Really Works” seminar, a week-long Canadian retreat with music biz author Wayne Chase. “One of the last days,” says Hill, “I had the opportunity to perform my song ‘All She Needs is a Spankin’,’ and I was a bit concerned that people might be offended by the rude lyrics, especially this one serious looking lady.”
“Something no man would give her/Something that made her quiver
A little smack on the butt/And she’ll no longer be a nut”
“After I finished, the lady I was worried about jumped up and said ‘I teach this kinda stuff, does anyone want a spanking demonstration?’ I told her that I’m generally the spanker not the spankee, but a braver man than I volunteered to be the spankee, and suddenly this serene mountain paradise was transformed into a bizarre class in spanking. It went on for 10 more minutes!”
“The leader of the group turned to me and said ‘Your songs sure have an interesting impact on people.’ It wouldn’t have been so funny if these were a bunch of swinger types, but they were all fairly typical, normal people, who suddenly threw an impromptu spanking party in the woods.”
Among Hill’s favorite open mics have been at Cosmos Coffee, where he played most Tuesdays for more than four years. “They have a salad there named after me,” says Hill, “the Happylicious.”
Hill hopes his many online video performances will lead to a TV gig. “I want to appear as myself in cartoon form on
Happy Ron Hill’s album Terribly Happy - produced by Sven-Erik Seaholm – includes his ode to spankin,’ as well as “The No Tantric Woman Blues,” “Sick of Her Sh-t,” and “Dickless Wonder.” Guest locals include Kelsea Little (The Wrong Trousers), Robin Henkel, and Cathryn Beeks.
http://www.myspace.com/happyron
Tampon video: 10/08/2005 Fannies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=may430gXfyo
“If You’re Bored in
http://www.happyron.com/?page_id=55
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyl959eNoXk&feature=channel_page
3) WHITE GOLD
The most famous music act among local kids may not be the Jonas Brothers OR Miley Cyrus, but rather White Gold and the Calcium Twins.
The Spinal Tap-esque glam rockers, created for the iconic “Got Milk?” advertising campaign, are featured on over 750,000 school book covers being distributed free throughout local school systems, in hopes of keeping textbooks in good shape for future students.
White Gold’s spandex-clad singer plays a milk-filled guitar and encourages milk consumption in a series of humorous ads, alongside two soulful female black singers. So who is White Gold? The California Milk Processor Board (CMBP) declines to say, and there’s no hint on their website or on the White Gold site, whose url simply states “[www]WhiteGoldIsWhiteGold.”
The CMPB is funded by a coalition of California milk processors, and administered by the California Department of Food and Agriculture. However, with the help of Dialed-In Rosie at http://www.sddialedin.com , I managed to find the man behind the “luxurious white mane” himself, the elusive (and entirely fictional) White Gold ------
White Gold is played by Joe Hursley, vocalist for the Ringers. The raunchy L.A. rockers are known for songs like “Beaver Fever,” “Backseat Lover,” “Moan N' Bitch,” and “Tokyo Massage.”
White Gold’s music is performed by Detroit-based Electric Six, whose own tracks include “I Buy the Drugs,” “Feed My F-ckin’ Habit,” “Sexy Trash,” and “Gay Bar Pt. 2.” Most San Diego public school administrators are likely unaware of those raunchy band connections to the massive book cover distribution.
“The students are really amused by White Gold,” said Heidi Anderberg, administrator at San Diego’s Sarah Anthony School. “The band is really funny, and it gets your attention. Plus, you can’t help but enjoy the group’s lyrics about the benefits to milk.”
In a phone interview, “White Gold,” aka Joe Hursley, said “I improvised almost all of the promos they recorded…I was saying stuff like ‘Yeah, I like to inject my balls with meth,’ and they were just shaking their heads, like, ‘no way can we use that.’”
“I’m actually an actor too, so that was part of what attracted me to the role of White Gold, but it’s not exactly what I want to be known for. I don’t think many people would just see me [as White Gold] and automatically recognize who I really am.”
So is that milk-filled guitar that he plays for real? “Nah, that piece of sh-t was leaking milk all over the place. There weren’t any electronics hooked up to it or anything. But it looked pretty good, huh?”
The “Calcium Twins” who sing and pretend to play bass and drums in the White Gold spots are actually Sonya and Sabrina Millen, a soul duo known as the Millen Sisters. “We auditioned to a rock song singing and dancing,” the sisters said in an email interview. “We’re in talks now to shoot the second phase of the campaign, hopefully to be released in 2009.”
The schoolbook covers have brought the Millen Sisters a whole new fan base entirely unaware of their real-world act. “We do get recognized from the campaign. Teenagers love it, because it’s different and fun.”
The Millens and Hursley confirm that, in light of White Gold’s popularity, there are new videos being posted online in November and December, 2009. With millions of YouTube plays for their videos, it could be the most successful imaginary TV commercial band concert tour since The Archies (unless you count the current incarnation of Kiss, with imposters dressed as Peter and Ace).
That is, unless the Free Credit Report.Com band gets out on tour first -----
Me, I love the White Gold Videos – they remind me of both the worst ‘70s rock opera-inspired movies (The Apple, Lizstomania, 20th Century Oz) and the best (Tommy, Phantom of the Paradise), with hysterical Spinal Tap touches and some impressively produced anthem-like tunes.
Think Zappa-Meets-Grand-Funk, as produced by Jim “Meat Loaf” Steinman ----
I give each vid a four-finger salute and recommendation ------ this first song, “Is It Me, Or Do You Love My Hair” is our profile song at http://www.myspace.com/sandiegoreadermusic.
The milk-filled guitar, “One Gallon Axe” – checkout the totally authentic Sly and the Family Stone groove, with Captain Beefheart-style vocals!
“Tame the White Tiger” – how can you beat a milk river, “provocative pumas,” and guitar licks played with bare feet! Note that he sings about how milk turns you into “a sexy beast” – if you check the lyrics at the White Gold website, the Milk Council wrote the lyric as “healthy beast,” so this version appears to be one of Hursely’s improvisations slipping thru the cracks. “Hey, kids, drink your milk and be a SEXY BEAST!” Yeah, I notice weird sh-t -----
2) MC FLOW
“You say domestic partnership / Is just the same -- It isn't true
You mask your hate in Bible verses / What would Jesus do?
Last time I checked, the Bible said "Love thy neighbor" and I do
But I remember history, when weddings were forbidden too
For interracial couples / How silly does that seem to you?
Someday when our kids look back, they'll ask us why we froze in fear
Why we wrote hate on the books, why we made rights disappear
We'll be forced to answer to them, why we backed discrimination
Why we broke up marriages and families with no hesitation --- ”
*******
Rapper MC Flow's video for "Created Equal" continues the project born last year on November 5, after Californians opposing legalized marriage between gay couples voted Proposition 8 into law.
Flow responded in verse – the video for the song was filmed on the streets of San Diego, with cameos by a number of sign-carrying (if not flag-waving or Bible-thumping) locals:
“This film is about community, hope and equality for all,” says Flow. “No project has ever been closer to my heart!”
The vid below comes with my rarely awarded five-finger recommendation –
Flow -- aka Abby Schwartz -- raps about politics and women's issues. She grew up in New York City and moved to San Diego in 2000 to study holistic medicine at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine in Mission Valley.
"I left my master's program to go into treatment for anorexia," she says. "Through the process of healing and empowering myself, I found my voice and began writing spoken-word and performance pieces based on issues surrounding women and body image."
She started her MC career performing open-mic nights at coffeehouses like Claire de Lune and Lestat's. "When I first began, I joined a networking group called the Community," she says, "and my first shows were with that group of artists. We get together regularly to share demos, talk about hip-hop, and listen to music."
Recalling her 30th birthday in 2007, she says "My friends and I were celebrating down in Mexico, and I was dared to make an appearance at the party wearing nothing but my birthday suit and a birthday crown. I did it, and I wasn't even that drunk."
Employment multitasking is nothing new to her. She describes her worst job: "Selling shoes at an upscale boutique in Cambridge, Massachusetts, one summer while I was in college. First, any job involving feet is no fun. Second, any job involving rich women asking you to run up and down the stairs a hundred times is no fun. The lowest moment was when we had a flood in the basement where all the shoes were stored -- we had to go downstairs, change into giant rain boots, and wade through the water to get the clients' shoes. Then we were expected to come back upstairs and act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Not a good day at the office."
Though Flow won Best Hip-Hop Album at the 2008 San Diego Music Awards, for her record Incredible, she says rapping doesn't yet pay her bills. "I work as a dog walker and pet sitter, and I love my job. It provides me with flexibility to do shows, and I walk around all day listening to my iPod. If you see a woman walking dogs through Balboa Park and rapping away on high volume, it's probably me."
Blurt - "Flow With It"
1) GARFUNKEL AND OATES
Named after two famous musical sidekicks (Art Garfunkel of Simon and Garfunkel and John Oates of Hall and Oates), this female duo includes Riki "Garfunkel' Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci. You may know Micucci a sometimes-cast member on the TV show Scrubs (Gooch/Ukulele Girl), which has used her music and allowed her to sing and play in various eps.
Their hysterical video “Sex With Ducks” (659,000 YouTube views) was inspired by a Pat Robertson quote from earlier this year, wherein the demented televangelist made this proclamation about gay marriage and gays being protected under a proposed hate crime bill: “This is just the beginning in a long downward slide in relation to all the things that we consider to be important…ladies and gentlemen, just figure this. You’ve got somebody who’s really weird, and his sexual orientation is he likes to have sex with ducks. Ducks. Is he protected under hate crime?”
Other Garfunkel and Oates songs and videos include “This Party Took a Turn For the Douche,” “Pregnant Women are Smug,” “One Night Stand,” “Present Face,” “Worst Song Medley,” “I Would Never (Have Sex With You),” and “Silver Lining.”
Here ya go, checkout “Sex With Ducks” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8 - and sing along with the lyrics below -
Sex With Ducks
Pat Robertson once said
It’s a long downward slide....
That will lead to legalizing sex with ducks....
If two men can stand, side by side....
God I hope he’s right....
Cause if gay marriage becomes lawful....
Gonna find myself a duck....
And legally do, something awful....
Ducks, sex with ducks....
We’ll do it in the rain....
Ducks, yeah, ducks....
Got those webbed feet on my brain....
We’ll find a pond, we’ll find a puddle....
Put your beak in mine and we’ll cuddle....
It’s a feeling I can’t name....
When sex with ducks and gay marriage are one in the same....
Gonna goose that goose, gonna quack that swan....
Gonna rubber my ducky, all night long....
Gonna wack that mallard til it’s feathers plume....
Gonna huey duey luey all over the room....
Scrooge McDuck gonna give it you....
Dive into your gold until you say duck tales, woo hoo
Ducks, sex with ducks/We’ll do it in the rain/Ducks, yeah, ducks/Those feathered bodies are insane ....
We’ll find a pond, we’ll find a puddle/I’ll be the wind beneath your wings and we’ll cuddle
It’s a feeling I can’t name/When sex with ducks and gay marriage are one in the same
www.myspace.com/garfunkelandoates
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/garfunkelandoates
www.itunes.com/garfunkelandoates
http://www.merchco-online.com/garfunkelandoates/
HONORABLE MENTION – DRAMA CAT:
Yeah, I know, this crazy-eyed kitty is already a huge web celeb, with over two and a half million YouTube views and more charismatic cache than Drama Squirrel, Dramatic Gopher, Sneezing Baby Panda, and
But Drama Cat’s gonna be even bigger in 2010 --- word on the street is that this cool Cat has been signed to co-star in the upcoming Hotel For Dogs/Snow Dogs crossover sequel, Dogs Eat Cat and Poop Fur in Eddie Murphy’s Condo.
Here's something you might be interested in.
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Top Dozen Web Celebs To Watch For in 2010
TOP 12 WEB CELEBS TO WATCH FOR IN 2010
I frankly don’t know how the world ever got by before the internet. Seriously. Over the past few years, I’ve been so hardwired to the web that I swear I dream in html.
So much of my time is spent clicking --- my left hand can barely hold onto a pencil, while my right hand can crush a Volkswagen ---
In the year or so since we set up www.myspace.com/sandiegoreadermusic, and since launching the new website and blog around two years ago, a lot of amazing online video auteurs have come to our attention.
Here are a dozen up-n-coming webheads that we think are the TOP 12 WEB CELEBS TO WATCH FOR IN 2010…………………
12) MICHAEL TIERNAN
“I’ve been toying around with live internet broadcasting from my home,” says singer/songwriter Michael Tiernan. “In the past couple of months, my audience has really begun to grow.” Tiernan’s “interactive internet concerts” stream live from his laptop computer every Friday at noon on www.tiernantunes.tv.
“I usually perform three or four songs, all focused around a certain topic or theme,” says Tiernan. “Viewers aren’t just viewers, either. They are participants, even more so than at a club show…they can enter chat sessions, make requests, and discuss the [musical] theme.” Tiernan also sometimes shows photos and slides, as well as polling viewers on a variety of topics, not necessarily musical. “It usually turns out to be part talk show, part concert.”
“So far, the most amazing experience I’ve had broadcasting is after my daughter was born… [November ‘08]. I was playing a brand new song I wrote for her. In the middle of the song, my wife brought the baby into the room after a nap, and I sang the song to her, tears in my eyes. I received tons of feedback after. There were about fifty people watching from all over the world, and many of them wrote me that it was one of the most touching things they’d ever seen. I had a lot of them crying, too.”
His internet audience can range from a dozen people to around a hundred. “But compare that with getting in your car, filling up the tank, and driving up to
Michael Tiernan’s songs “Better Life” and “Distractions” were featured on MTV’s Real World earlier this year. In 2007, his song “I’m Ready” was licensed for an episode of the ABC TV series Men In Trees. “It basically just came out of the blue,” he says. “When I got the call, they were ready to send the contract.” He pocketed a $1,000 fee. “Residuals will depend on frequency of repeats and hopefully syndication.”
The program placement was Tiernan’s first network TV sale, though he says he previously licensed his music for exercise videos. “I was hoping the Men In Trees deal would include a date with Ann Heche, [who plays] the main character, but no dice. I'm actually not sure what side of the [bi-sexual] fence she's on these days anyhow.”
Tiernan also won the 2007 Songwriter of the Year Award from the Pacific Songwriting Competition. “I was actually the runner-up,” says Tiernan, “but when the actual winner, from
11) SCOTT WILSON
Scott Wilson’s video for his song “Too Tired” matches the tune with a hand-animated film by Takeuchi Taijin, “Stop Motion With Wolf and Pig.” The video, uploaded to YouTube in April, uses 1,300 sequentially-shot photographic prints which roll out across a room and all its furniture, in an approximation of the frames-per-second method used to create vintage cartoons. In early July,
“I did a search on the Pen Story,” says
After several people posted comments noting the similarities between the Pen Story and the Wilson/Taijin video,
“I still have not heard from Takeuchi yet, so I don’t know what he thinks of all this,” says
Wilson also points out similarities between the 2005 video for his song “Coffeehouse 101,” which featured around 50 local stars, each lip-synching a line, with a Nickelback video around two years later using an identical format and cadence, albeit with more famous guests, for their tune “Rockstar.”
“I look at it as a strange cosmic joke,” says
“Everybody's wet dream/Save it for the big scene
It's headed for the big screen…Doesn't make a difference to me.”
“Independent Artists Company is a website that features indie musicians, and has a number of radio stations on the site,” says
The song seems to spin a tale not unlike the true-life stories of media mega-messes Paris Hilton, Lindsey Lohan, and Britney Spears.
“I was looking at a picture of Paris Hilton in the back of a police car crying, and I know that inspires laughter in a lot of people, but for some reason I felt really sorry for her.”
Says
Scott Wilson “Too Tired” – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOxpgatyERs
Pen Story - http://www.youtube.com/user/PENStory
“Coffeehouse 101” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VnoQyRUf9A
http://www.myspace.com/metapunk
10) ALEXANDRA DEMATTIA
If, like me, you’ve been around since the Stone’s age, then – like me – you probably can’t tell a Demi Lovato from Miranda Cosgrove from Selena Gomez from Aly from AJ from Taylor Momsen (hey, wasn’t she Cindy Lou Who in the Grinch movie?). Not even if you – like me, just now – do Google searches on ‘tween pop stars, Disney Channel, etc.
Now the Runaways, Suzi Quatro, Cherie Currie, Louise Goffin, Annabelle from Bow Wow Wow, Robin “Times Square” Johnson, THOSE teen girls could rock a video --- but, hey, my sideburns are probably older than a lot of the people reading this blog ------
Anyway, soon-to-be 13 year-old Alexandra DeMattia is an aspiring pop tart from
“I have worked with vocal coaches since kindergarten,” says DeMattia, who – besides serving on the Student Council since the 3rd Grade and doing All- Star Cheerleading at Star Athletics for six years - has also been involved with local theatre and undergone dance and acting training.
DeMattia has a vaguely ethnic Mila Kunis look, though she tends to rockout more like her idol, Hannah Montana. Or rather Miley Cyrus. Wait – (Google) – okay, Miley Cyrus. Wait, as in Billy RAY Cyrus?!?! Billy Achy Breaky Heart Cyrus?
“I would love to record a song with Miley Cyrus,” says DeMattia. “I would love to do a remake of Miley’s Hit Song ‘See You Again’ with her. That is my favorite, song and I think it would rock.”
DeMattia’s music vids – full of energetic dancing and pantomime – are surprisingly engaging and professionally shot and edited, looking for all the world just like (or better than) the KidVids I’ve caught on my way from CSI shows (real and fake) to History’s Mysteries, the SyFy channel, VH1, IFC, BBC America, and upper dial reruns of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Rod Serling’s Night Gallery.
(Really, Billy Ray Cyrus, huh? AND he’s on her TV SHOW?! Like, with the mullet? --- Google Images --- wow, that’s even WORSE! He looks like somebody slapped one side of his head with a paint-covered scuba flipper)
DeMattia’s debut four-song EP, recorded in L.A. in March 2009, features her YouTube hit “Cool Without You” and was recently launched on iTunes ---- the other three songs are “Snapshot,” “Love the Hype,” and “Telephone.”
“I worked closely with a producer on the music for the tracks,” says DeMattia. “We came up with ideas together…I recently started exploring songwriting. Being creative is one of my favorite aspects of music.”
In addition, she says “I am involved in re-designing and doing the cover artwork. I like being involved in all the creative aspects of my career…the music videos I make for fun on YouTube are edited, directed, and filmed by me [and] I do my own web show filming, producing, and editing.”
Indeed, her slickly presented MySpace page and other online hangouts are so professional and promotional, and filled with loving fan testimonials, that you’d swear she’s already got her own show/movie/album/DVD/tour/book/comic/clothing/fragrance/ringtone/themepark/cult/breakfast cereal tied into the Disney Channel or Nickelodeon.
And, by the end of 2010, she probably will.
Myspace: http://www.myspace.com/alexandrademattia
Twitter: http://twitter.com/AlexandraDe13
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Alexand...
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/fabmovies...
9) TOM CARROLL
“I’m an unabashed Barack Obama fan,” says local artist/songwriter Tom Carroll of entering the “Obama in 30 Seconds” in the short film competition obamain30seconds.org. His short -- Pie in The Sky -- opens with huge shadows cast across a landscape by vast circular shapes in the sky. A narrator intones “Is it pie in the sky for government to be both transparent and responsible? Is it pie in the sky that one man’s vision could inspire a new politics based on hope rather than fear? Is it pie in the sky for a black American to attain the highest office in the land?”
“The final seconds take place in
Carroll is also behind the stage production "I Survived the Bush Administration (and All I Got Was This $%^&@ T-Shirt!)," a musical variety revue co-created with Four Eyes guitarist Mark DeCerbo and others. He says the show is about “One disenfranchised neo-conservative with a gun for a nose, two steadfast women at opposite ends of the political spectrum, a three-headed general, a salsa-dancing terrorist, and a conflicted peacenik, all striving to validate their lives and work in the months leading up to the 2008 Presidential election.”
“It has six comedy sketches, as well as eleven original songs,” says Carroll. “After the first song, actors jump out onstage and launch wadded-up T-Shirts into the audience, like they do at sporting events, with I Survived The Bush Administration on the front, plus And All I Got Was This $%^@ T-Shirt! on the back.”
The show’s original songs include “The Road to Utopia” (“We've got the money now/No Democrats around to slow us down”), “The Terrorism Cha-Cha” (“My name is Bin Laden/Am I alive or dead/I could be lying in a crater/Or doin’ Cha-Cha in bed”), and “It Hurts When the Congress Thinks You’re Nuts.”
Is Carroll worried about attracting unwanted attention from the government?
“While there’s always the possibility that some agency of the government might give me a hard time,” he says, “it’s for that reason that plays like ‘I Survived…’ should be written and performed. We should always be vigilant in how our freedoms are being restricted, especially the freedom of speech and expression.”
Obama Pie Video: http://www.myspace.com/isurvivedthebushadministration
http://obamain30seconds.org/vote/?v=view-1391-hV1s0H
8) MONO MONO
“I bring exploding foam, snow machines, confetti cannons, pinatas and remote control space ships,” says Mono Mono’s one-man bandmember Jeffrey Beringer of his “interactive, inflatable stage show.” Interactive? “The lights and other special effects are operated by radio control, and I give control boxes to the audience,” he says. “In my show, you touch and are touched. I dress in drag and sit on your lap, and you will suck and touch my fake boobies and scream. You will blow my clothes off with my leaf blower and I will run naked through the venue.”
Okay. Inflatable? “I put on an inflatable Sumo costume and blow up like a huge, obese marshmallow man, and [audiences] squeeze, hug, grind, hump and bounce me,” he says.
“I have an arsenal of inflatable monkeys, sex dolls and blow-up toys…Sometimes [audiences] jump on my toys and destroy them. I place balloons into the crowd, they hold them on their lap, and we jump on each other, exploding the balloons.” Musically, he says “I have help from my iPod and my computer…The vocals are live, and the music and sound effects have been electronically programmed. I use Reason and Ableton Live loop-sequencer programs.”
His prop-heavy show can cause problems. “I had a major fight with the stage manager and engineers at the House of Blues,” he says. “Before I walked onstage, they said [HOB] was ‘not for clowns’ and that they didn’t have sufficient staff to clean up streamers or confetti…I had to do an extremely limited show. At the end, a huge box of streamers somehow accidentally slipped into the crowd and they went wild, making a huge mess. Ooops!”
“I had a couple of instances where the managers of the venue were absolutely horrified when they witnessed their clean venues be transformed into a massive hurricane of confetti, streamers and foam. Of course, drink sales are usually high, and cleanup is easy and quick if you have a big broom, so I almost always get asked back. At present, my show is completely soft, stainless, and dry, or at the very least it evaporates quickly. Sometimes things get a little rowdy, but I have never had a notable injury to report.
Beringer says he finally reached a point as an artist where “the same old same old concert experience just didn't cut it for me anymore. I was tired of vague, cliche lyrics that I don't understand, or don't care to. I was tired of performers who get on stage and dress like sh-t and think that the mere fact that they play guitar or sing is going to hold my interest. I wanted more, and I know my audiences wanted more. They wanted crazier, they wanted wilder, they wanted a show that was as interesting to see as it is to listen to. Something that brings them to the next level.”
Mono Mono shows are dubbed "Debauchery, Desmadre." “It’s a sonic and visual orgy that appeals not only to the ears, but to all of the senses, including touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. The music is electronic and danceable. The subject matter is taboo, interesting and instantly accessible. Pansexuality. Promiscuity. Profanity. Gender Bending. Breaking rules. Pushing limits. Sacrificing Virgins. Good and Evil. Extraterrestrial Life, etc. etc. etc.”
The goal, says Beringer, is to eliminate the barrier between performer and spectator. “I am the spark, and the audience the fire...but we are all performers and we are all spectators. In my show you touch and are touched. You watch and are watched. You throw things and destroy things. You scream, you dance wildly, you sweat. We all entertain each other, we lose our preconceptions and inhibitions, and enter a state of pure consciousness where anything is possible.”
According to Beringer, “Over twenty of my inflatable monkeys have been kidnapped at shows…Now they appear in photos all over MySpace.” I highly recommend any and all of his insane online videos - you'll feel like you're on LSD, without the comedown!
www.myspace.com/jeffreyberinger
7) KING KRUK
“As a singer, I sound like Elvis Presley, no matter how hard I try not to,” says
“The Elvis show happened from a karaoke contest in Krakow [around 2004],” says Kruk, who was teaching English in
Though popular, Kruk says Poles didn’t pay much for his Elvis act.
“The most I got was 200 Polish zloty for a 45-minute gig. That was around $70
Before settling in
“Elvis shows up as a time-traveling deus ex machina, to juxtapose the impact of fame and genius. I was paid $1500 a week, plus $600 weekly per diem for food and hotels.”
Comedian Steve Martin authored the play but didn’t appear in it. “He was around for rehearsals and for some shows, though,” says Kruk. “He had the cast over for dinner when the tour stopped in
Earlier this year, Kruk emailed to report “I placed fourth at Pechanga’s Ultimate Elvis Tribute contest, but then I rallied and won first place at the [Del Mar] Fair, beating the second and third place contestants from Pechanga. One of the three male judges at Pechanga obviously didn’t like me, as he consistently scored me ten points lower than the other two.”
The Pechanga competition is part of a national yearly contest run by the Presley estate with a $25,000 top prize, while the Fair’s one-off contest paid Kruk $1,000 for his win. “My act at the Fair was a little different. At Ultimate, you have to be more true to what Elvis would have performed wearing a specific stage outfit. For example, if you wear an Aloha From Hawaii Eagle jumpsuit, you can’t perform songs he didn’t do during that era. At the Fair, you have a little more freedom, so I could wear the fringe jumpsuit from the ‘70s and still sing songs from the ‘50s and ‘60s.”
Both Elvis contests attracted impersonators from all over the country, as well as L.A. Elvis George Thomas (third place in
Now that Kruk has achieved championship cred, he’s hoping gigs – and the attendant paycheck - will increase. “I can now say I’m the best in southern
Earlier this year (late July), Kruk competed at the next Ultimate Elvis elimination at
June 21 Ultimate Elvis Contest at Pechanga - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlgNxPOwjyo
6) THE BUGS
“I wrote the song when he was on that Rock Star Supernova show,” says David Swain of the Bugs about the inspiration behind “Dave Navarro’s Goatee F-cking Sucks.”
“He used to be in Jane’s Addiction/Now he’s on TV trying to earn a buck
He was so much cooler when he was on drugs/Dave Navarro’s goatee f-cking sucks”
“All that makeup and jewelry,” says Swain, “what a f-cking jerk. Where the hell is he getting off, wearing all that crap? He’s so full of himself, anyone with any soul would wanna tell him to go f-ck himself.”
The problem may be with the band’s video, which features around two dozen huge photographs of Navarro on a screen behind the group as they mock his facial hair. “I keep waiting to hear from his attorney about the video,” says Swain. “I’m sure they wouldn't appreciate us using his pictures without consent. If they do email me, I’m printing it in the insert of the next album.”
With tours booked around
The band’s other songs (most with accompanying homemade videos) include “No More Emo Haircuts,” “Meth On My Mind,” “Lesbo Lesbo,” “Email From a She-Male” (also a funny video), and “I Wish I Was A Mexican” (“Kicking back after work/drinking a Bud/take off my shirt….”)
“I get called racist sometimes. Not sure why. I’m one of the most liberal persons there is…white people are usually the most disrespectful.”
Clocking in at around two minutes each, the songs will appear on the Bugs’ upcoming Cabana Records seven inch vinyl album. “Yeah, that’s right, the whole album fits on a seven inch. And there's still room for another song or two!”
Video – Dave Navarro’s Goatee: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juf3yFscMFo
The Bugs/Dangerous Dave on MySpace
5) THE WRONG TROUSERS
All in their late teens or early ‘20s, the Wrong Trousers can often be found weekends at
“On our best days at
Mackenzie Leighton (from
“We formed in 2006 when we met in a performing arts program at Coronado High school called Coronado School of the Arts, AKA Coosa,” says Little (born in Fort Collins, Colorado). “One day, Mack and Joseph were jamming on a fiddle tune called Blackberry Blossom and I joined in. After that we tried covering Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots by The Flaming Lips and we automatically clicked.
The band’s setlist is evenly split between offbeat originals and covers of acts like the Traveling Wilburys and Joanna Newsom. “Mostly, we choose songs that we think will sound cool with our instrumentation. Our most popular cover to date is Such Great Heights by the Postal Service,” according to Little. “It won us our
The Wrong Trousers recorded a CD with local jazz mainstay Peter Sprague, who they met while recording tracks for a mutual friend at his studio. Two original songs from those sessions posted on MySpace have already been played over 20,000 times.
“We actually get stopped in the streets of
“There will be the occasional person who can't stand my voice and them feel the need to tell me to never sing again. It's all been very interesting to take in.”
The band is named after a famous award-winning clay-animated Wallace and Gromit short, by the later-creator of the movies Chicken Run and Curse of the Were-Rabbit. “A lot of people recognize the Wallace and Gromit reference, and they deem us 'really cool nerds' for it,” says Little. “We take what we can get.”
YouTube clip – video killed the radio star
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSUX9byu6NY
http://www.myspace.com/thewrongtrousers
"Calvin" (Melodica solo written by Peter Sprague)
"Such Great Heights" (Postal Service cover)
"Handle With Care" (Travelling Wilburys cover)
4) HAPPY RON HILL
As of 2009, Happy Ron Hill had done over 1000 open mic performance at the Blarney Stone Pub. “I started in 1997 and, believe it or not, poetry open mics are the most borderline violent. I’ve really thought people were going to come to blows over poems. Last year in
The worst local open mic contestant he’s seen calls himself the Wolf. “This guy showed up for years at Hot Monkey Love and would put on a CD of random industrial music, with him saying ‘I am Luke Skywalker, I am Darth Vader, you must die’ and flailing around stage with his light saber. It was interesting for thirty seconds, and then it got real uncomfortable.”
As for his own most offbeat open mic gig, he says “I was on stage at Fannie’s [10/08/2005], and I kept feeling that something was whizzing by my head. Then I heard this voice saying ‘Mom, quit throwing your tampons!’ The club crew picked up numerous tampons as I was getting offstage, and I put them in my hat. Fortunately, they weren’t used, and nobody was injured.”
“It kind of reminded me of how people used to throw jelly beans at the Beatles, and then the Beatles complained that they were hard and they hurt.”
As for his most offbeat open mic appearance, he says “I was at Harbin Hot Springs for a retreat thing, and they had a talent night, so I performed in the nude, wearing only my hat, in front of a hundred mostly-naked people. I did my classic song Boy Toy, which includes the line ‘don't touch/don't touch me there." Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R5GnxKUAwc to checkout the song in performance context.
“Performing is really about facing your deepest fears. Most people have dreams about singing naked in public. I used to too and so I figured to finally let go of my final fears regarding performing I should just go ahead and perform naked somewhere.”
Last year, Hill attended the “How Music Really Works” seminar, a week-long Canadian retreat with music biz author Wayne Chase. “One of the last days,” says Hill, “I had the opportunity to perform my song ‘All She Needs is a Spankin’,’ and I was a bit concerned that people might be offended by the rude lyrics, especially this one serious looking lady.”
“Something no man would give her/Something that made her quiver
A little smack on the butt/And she’ll no longer be a nut”
“After I finished, the lady I was worried about jumped up and said ‘I teach this kinda stuff, does anyone want a spanking demonstration?’ I told her that I’m generally the spanker not the spankee, but a braver man than I volunteered to be the spankee, and suddenly this serene mountain paradise was transformed into a bizarre class in spanking. It went on for 10 more minutes!”
“The leader of the group turned to me and said ‘Your songs sure have an interesting impact on people.’ It wouldn’t have been so funny if these were a bunch of swinger types, but they were all fairly typical, normal people, who suddenly threw an impromptu spanking party in the woods.”
Among Hill’s favorite open mics have been at Cosmos Coffee, where he played most Tuesdays for more than four years. “They have a salad there named after me,” says Hill, “the Happylicious.”
Hill hopes his many online video performances will lead to a TV gig. “I want to appear as myself in cartoon form on
Happy Ron Hill’s album Terribly Happy - produced by Sven-Erik Seaholm – includes his ode to spankin,’ as well as “The No Tantric Woman Blues,” “Sick of Her Sh-t,” and “Dickless Wonder.” Guest locals include Kelsea Little (The Wrong Trousers), Robin Henkel, and Cathryn Beeks.
http://www.myspace.com/happyron
Tampon video: 10/08/2005 Fannies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=may430gXfyo
“If You’re Bored in
http://www.happyron.com/?page_id=55
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyl959eNoXk&feature=channel_page
3) WHITE GOLD
The most famous music act among local kids may not be the Jonas Brothers OR Miley Cyrus, but rather White Gold and the Calcium Twins.
The Spinal Tap-esque glam rockers, created for the iconic “Got Milk?” advertising campaign, are featured on over 750,000 school book covers being distributed free throughout local school systems, in hopes of keeping textbooks in good shape for future students.
White Gold’s spandex-clad singer plays a milk-filled guitar and encourages milk consumption in a series of humorous ads, alongside two soulful female black singers. So who is White Gold? The California Milk Processor Board (CMBP) declines to say, and there’s no hint on their website or on the White Gold site, whose url simply states “[www]WhiteGoldIsWhiteGold.”
The CMPB is funded by a coalition of California milk processors, and administered by the California Department of Food and Agriculture. However, with the help of Dialed-In Rosie at http://www.sddialedin.com , I managed to find the man behind the “luxurious white mane” himself, the elusive (and entirely fictional) White Gold ------
White Gold is played by Joe Hursley, vocalist for the Ringers. The raunchy L.A. rockers are known for songs like “Beaver Fever,” “Backseat Lover,” “Moan N' Bitch,” and “Tokyo Massage.”
White Gold’s music is performed by Detroit-based Electric Six, whose own tracks include “I Buy the Drugs,” “Feed My F-ckin’ Habit,” “Sexy Trash,” and “Gay Bar Pt. 2.” Most San Diego public school administrators are likely unaware of those raunchy band connections to the massive book cover distribution.
“The students are really amused by White Gold,” said Heidi Anderberg, administrator at San Diego’s Sarah Anthony School. “The band is really funny, and it gets your attention. Plus, you can’t help but enjoy the group’s lyrics about the benefits to milk.”
In a phone interview, “White Gold,” aka Joe Hursley, said “I improvised almost all of the promos they recorded…I was saying stuff like ‘Yeah, I like to inject my balls with meth,’ and they were just shaking their heads, like, ‘no way can we use that.’”
“I’m actually an actor too, so that was part of what attracted me to the role of White Gold, but it’s not exactly what I want to be known for. I don’t think many people would just see me [as White Gold] and automatically recognize who I really am.”
So is that milk-filled guitar that he plays for real? “Nah, that piece of sh-t was leaking milk all over the place. There weren’t any electronics hooked up to it or anything. But it looked pretty good, huh?”
The “Calcium Twins” who sing and pretend to play bass and drums in the White Gold spots are actually Sonya and Sabrina Millen, a soul duo known as the Millen Sisters. “We auditioned to a rock song singing and dancing,” the sisters said in an email interview. “We’re in talks now to shoot the second phase of the campaign, hopefully to be released in 2009.”
The schoolbook covers have brought the Millen Sisters a whole new fan base entirely unaware of their real-world act. “We do get recognized from the campaign. Teenagers love it, because it’s different and fun.”
The Millens and Hursley confirm that, in light of White Gold’s popularity, there are new videos being posted online in November and December, 2009. With millions of YouTube plays for their videos, it could be the most successful imaginary TV commercial band concert tour since The Archies (unless you count the current incarnation of Kiss, with imposters dressed as Peter and Ace).
That is, unless the Free Credit Report.Com band gets out on tour first -----
Me, I love the White Gold Videos – they remind me of both the worst ‘70s rock opera-inspired movies (The Apple, Lizstomania, 20th Century Oz) and the best (Tommy, Phantom of the Paradise), with hysterical Spinal Tap touches and some impressively produced anthem-like tunes.
Think Zappa-Meets-Grand-Funk, as produced by Jim “Meat Loaf” Steinman ----
I give each vid a four-finger salute and recommendation ------ this first song, “Is It Me, Or Do You Love My Hair” is our profile song at http://www.myspace.com/sandiegoreadermusic.
The milk-filled guitar, “One Gallon Axe” – checkout the totally authentic Sly and the Family Stone groove, with Captain Beefheart-style vocals!
“Tame the White Tiger” – how can you beat a milk river, “provocative pumas,” and guitar licks played with bare feet! Note that he sings about how milk turns you into “a sexy beast” – if you check the lyrics at the White Gold website, the Milk Council wrote the lyric as “healthy beast,” so this version appears to be one of Hursely’s improvisations slipping thru the cracks. “Hey, kids, drink your milk and be a SEXY BEAST!” Yeah, I notice weird sh-t -----
2) MC FLOW
“You say domestic partnership / Is just the same -- It isn't true
You mask your hate in Bible verses / What would Jesus do?
Last time I checked, the Bible said "Love thy neighbor" and I do
But I remember history, when weddings were forbidden too
For interracial couples / How silly does that seem to you?
Someday when our kids look back, they'll ask us why we froze in fear
Why we wrote hate on the books, why we made rights disappear
We'll be forced to answer to them, why we backed discrimination
Why we broke up marriages and families with no hesitation --- ”
*******
Rapper MC Flow's video for "Created Equal" continues the project born last year on November 5, after Californians opposing legalized marriage between gay couples voted Proposition 8 into law.
Flow responded in verse – the video for the song was filmed on the streets of San Diego, with cameos by a number of sign-carrying (if not flag-waving or Bible-thumping) locals:
“This film is about community, hope and equality for all,” says Flow. “No project has ever been closer to my heart!”
The vid below comes with my rarely awarded five-finger recommendation –
Flow -- aka Abby Schwartz -- raps about politics and women's issues. She grew up in New York City and moved to San Diego in 2000 to study holistic medicine at Pacific College of Oriental Medicine in Mission Valley.
"I left my master's program to go into treatment for anorexia," she says. "Through the process of healing and empowering myself, I found my voice and began writing spoken-word and performance pieces based on issues surrounding women and body image."
She started her MC career performing open-mic nights at coffeehouses like Claire de Lune and Lestat's. "When I first began, I joined a networking group called the Community," she says, "and my first shows were with that group of artists. We get together regularly to share demos, talk about hip-hop, and listen to music."
Recalling her 30th birthday in 2007, she says "My friends and I were celebrating down in Mexico, and I was dared to make an appearance at the party wearing nothing but my birthday suit and a birthday crown. I did it, and I wasn't even that drunk."
Employment multitasking is nothing new to her. She describes her worst job: "Selling shoes at an upscale boutique in Cambridge, Massachusetts, one summer while I was in college. First, any job involving feet is no fun. Second, any job involving rich women asking you to run up and down the stairs a hundred times is no fun. The lowest moment was when we had a flood in the basement where all the shoes were stored -- we had to go downstairs, change into giant rain boots, and wade through the water to get the clients' shoes. Then we were expected to come back upstairs and act as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Not a good day at the office."
Though Flow won Best Hip-Hop Album at the 2008 San Diego Music Awards, for her record Incredible, she says rapping doesn't yet pay her bills. "I work as a dog walker and pet sitter, and I love my job. It provides me with flexibility to do shows, and I walk around all day listening to my iPod. If you see a woman walking dogs through Balboa Park and rapping away on high volume, it's probably me."
Blurt - "Flow With It"
1) GARFUNKEL AND OATES
Named after two famous musical sidekicks (Art Garfunkel of Simon and Garfunkel and John Oates of Hall and Oates), this female duo includes Riki "Garfunkel' Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci. You may know Micucci a sometimes-cast member on the TV show Scrubs (Gooch/Ukulele Girl), which has used her music and allowed her to sing and play in various eps.
Their hysterical video “Sex With Ducks” (659,000 YouTube views) was inspired by a Pat Robertson quote from earlier this year, wherein the demented televangelist made this proclamation about gay marriage and gays being protected under a proposed hate crime bill: “This is just the beginning in a long downward slide in relation to all the things that we consider to be important…ladies and gentlemen, just figure this. You’ve got somebody who’s really weird, and his sexual orientation is he likes to have sex with ducks. Ducks. Is he protected under hate crime?”
Other Garfunkel and Oates songs and videos include “This Party Took a Turn For the Douche,” “Pregnant Women are Smug,” “One Night Stand,” “Present Face,” “Worst Song Medley,” “I Would Never (Have Sex With You),” and “Silver Lining.”
Here ya go, checkout “Sex With Ducks” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8 - and sing along with the lyrics below -
Sex With Ducks
Pat Robertson once said
It’s a long downward slide....
That will lead to legalizing sex with ducks....
If two men can stand, side by side....
God I hope he’s right....
Cause if gay marriage becomes lawful....
Gonna find myself a duck....
And legally do, something awful....
Ducks, sex with ducks....
We’ll do it in the rain....
Ducks, yeah, ducks....
Got those webbed feet on my brain....
We’ll find a pond, we’ll find a puddle....
Put your beak in mine and we’ll cuddle....
It’s a feeling I can’t name....
When sex with ducks and gay marriage are one in the same....
Gonna goose that goose, gonna quack that swan....
Gonna rubber my ducky, all night long....
Gonna wack that mallard til it’s feathers plume....
Gonna huey duey luey all over the room....
Scrooge McDuck gonna give it you....
Dive into your gold until you say duck tales, woo hoo
Ducks, sex with ducks/We’ll do it in the rain/Ducks, yeah, ducks/Those feathered bodies are insane ....
We’ll find a pond, we’ll find a puddle/I’ll be the wind beneath your wings and we’ll cuddle
It’s a feeling I can’t name/When sex with ducks and gay marriage are one in the same
www.myspace.com/garfunkelandoates
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/garfunkelandoates
www.itunes.com/garfunkelandoates
http://www.merchco-online.com/garfunkelandoates/
HONORABLE MENTION – DRAMA CAT:
Yeah, I know, this crazy-eyed kitty is already a huge web celeb, with over two and a half million YouTube views and more charismatic cache than Drama Squirrel, Dramatic Gopher, Sneezing Baby Panda, and
But Drama Cat’s gonna be even bigger in 2010 --- word on the street is that this cool Cat has been signed to co-star in the upcoming Hotel For Dogs/Snow Dogs crossover sequel, Dogs Eat Cat and Poop Fur in Eddie Murphy’s Condo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plWnm7UpsXk
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