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Pictured: sluts fleeing overenthusiastic supporters of their slut lifestyle.
It was supposed to be a triumph for women eager to reclaim their sexuality from the threat of sexual violence. But sadly, Slut Walk San Diego went horribly awry as some 50 men, many of whom claimed to be unable to control their animal urges when presented with such a plenitude of hot female flesh, plunged into the crowd of over 2000 sluts in a quest for sexual gratification, consensual or otherwise. Dozens of arrests have been made, and police say it may be weeks before all the snatched panties have been returned to their rightful owners.
When this reporter questioned the wisdom of the sluts' decision to steer their march past both the county jail and the Convention Center during the annual gathering of Sexaholics Anonymous, one of the more vocal sluts replied, "Don't you get it? That's just the point! It doesn't matter if we put on thigh-high f--k-me boots with five-inch stiletto heels, slather our naked bodies in baby oil and then teeter and drip our way down SDSU's fraternity row on a Saturday night! We are not asking to be raped!"
"Oh, sister, you don't have to ask!" cried out two-time rapist Bruno Bruskewicz as police officers dragged him to the ground and tased him.
Meanwhile, sexual addict Mark "Tiger" Woods sat on a curb, nursing a sensitive region which had been repeatedly kicked and weeping softly. "Right in the middle of my speech," he sobbed. "I was at the podium, and I had just gotten to the part where I said that thanks to SA, I don't think I'd lose control now unless something like 500 sluts just happened to walk by. And then BLAMMO. I just lost it. Oh, God, I hate myself."
Despite the setback, Slut Walk organizers pledged to keep slutting it up all over town. "We will not be slut-shamed, slut-silenced, or otherwise prevented from owning our sluttiness," declared a slut who identified herself only as Fierce.
Reached for comment, Beavis and Butthead expressed their support for the sluts:
Pictured: sluts fleeing overenthusiastic supporters of their slut lifestyle.
It was supposed to be a triumph for women eager to reclaim their sexuality from the threat of sexual violence. But sadly, Slut Walk San Diego went horribly awry as some 50 men, many of whom claimed to be unable to control their animal urges when presented with such a plenitude of hot female flesh, plunged into the crowd of over 2000 sluts in a quest for sexual gratification, consensual or otherwise. Dozens of arrests have been made, and police say it may be weeks before all the snatched panties have been returned to their rightful owners.
When this reporter questioned the wisdom of the sluts' decision to steer their march past both the county jail and the Convention Center during the annual gathering of Sexaholics Anonymous, one of the more vocal sluts replied, "Don't you get it? That's just the point! It doesn't matter if we put on thigh-high f--k-me boots with five-inch stiletto heels, slather our naked bodies in baby oil and then teeter and drip our way down SDSU's fraternity row on a Saturday night! We are not asking to be raped!"
"Oh, sister, you don't have to ask!" cried out two-time rapist Bruno Bruskewicz as police officers dragged him to the ground and tased him.
Meanwhile, sexual addict Mark "Tiger" Woods sat on a curb, nursing a sensitive region which had been repeatedly kicked and weeping softly. "Right in the middle of my speech," he sobbed. "I was at the podium, and I had just gotten to the part where I said that thanks to SA, I don't think I'd lose control now unless something like 500 sluts just happened to walk by. And then BLAMMO. I just lost it. Oh, God, I hate myself."
Despite the setback, Slut Walk organizers pledged to keep slutting it up all over town. "We will not be slut-shamed, slut-silenced, or otherwise prevented from owning our sluttiness," declared a slut who identified herself only as Fierce.
Reached for comment, Beavis and Butthead expressed their support for the sluts: