It would be hard to conceive a more painful introduction to Greek mythology. Or reintroduction, even more. Chris Columbus, who directed the first couple of Harry Potter entries, is looking literally for another lightning bolt — Zeus’s stolen one — in the quest of a dyslexic present-day teenager, the unknowing bastard spawn of Poseidon, teamed up ad hoc with a same-aged demigoddess and semigoat (“The politically correct term is satyr”), to retrieve his mother from Hades (located beneath the Hollywood sign), solve the mystery of the missing bolt, and avert an apocalypse. Under these circumstances, the language is appallingly banal even for a movie populated with teenagers and targeted to their juniors: “Check this out,” as an example, gets spoken no fewer than three times during the visit to Medusa’s lair and twice more in its immediate sequel. The computer-generated Fury, Minotaur, Hydra, etc., interject only technology, no magic. Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario, Catherine Keener, Joe Pantoliano, Pierce Brosnan, Uma Thurman, Steve Coogan, Rosario Dawson. (2010) — Duncan Shepherd
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